Jeff the Accountant Escapes the Wretched Burning Depths of Hades

I Cannot Do This

Edward Teach slept. His throat was raw. His head ached. His chest ached. After an endless string of Why? Why? Why? played out in his mind, he finally collapsed.

And Edward dreamed.

In his dream he fought. He, Edward, fought with Blackbeard. Blackbeard, who laughed. Blackbeard, who smirked. Blackbeard, who cried?

"I cannot do this!" he cried out.

"Edward" said a voice tenderly.

"Mum? Mum, you're here?"

"Edward, my son. My beautiful boy."

"No! No! No! I'm not beautiful. I'm not good I'm..."

"Edward." His mother took his hands. "You must listen to me. I know. I know that you killed your father all those years ago. I knew when you went missing and they found his body at the shore."

"You left, but it was him. He took you away from me. I know you did it to protect me. I should've been the one to protect you. You were just a boy."

"And you've lived a hard life. You've paid a hard price."

"Mum"

"No, Edward, listen. Maybe you thought you could have others pay the price. Maybe I'm to blame, for teaching you about the fine things we could never have."

"But something has changed, hasn't it? This man. He means more to you than any plundered loot, any jewels, any gold."

"He lied to me!" Edward howled, his words resounding throughout the ship.

"I've never known pain like this, Mum. No beating from that wretch of a father hurt me as much. No piercing dagger, no enemy's sword has ever cut me like this."

"Why did he leave me? I thought we were happy. In the end, was he afraid? Afraid of the future — a new life? Was he afraid of...me?"

"Edward, you must find him. If what you feel for this man is love, you cannot do evil because of his absence. Love does not make men into monsters."

"You cannot do evil because of his absence..." Edward imagined the scribe's quill moving across the page as he wrote the words. And then, his mother was gone. And he was awake.

Edward knew. He knew he had to find Lucius. He knew that what he felt for Stede —for that "bizarre little man" must be honored. With Stede at his side, or with Stede out there looking for his own answers, Edward wanted to be the man that Stede knew him to be.

He would start with cleaning himself up. He'd wash his face and change his clothes. But he wouldn't shave. His beard was starting to grow back, though greyer. And that was okay.

He chose the least frilly shirt and simplest trousers he could find in Stede's auxiliary wardrobe. Adding his gun belt with his pistol and knife, Edward went to talk to the crew. He sought Fang in particular.