Jeff the Accountant Escapes the Wretched Burning Depths of Hades

I Must Have A Concussion

Jim stirred. They felt the side of their head where they'd been struck and looked up to see Ivan standing there, his battle axe in hand.

"Mate, let me help you up" Ivan said, reaching for Jim's hand.

Jim accepted the help up but eyed Ivan warily.

"You're probably thinking 'What's goin' on? What the hell is Blackbeard doing? Well, we all are."

"One day he's singin' plaintively about letting go, the next he's smearing charcoal on his face and stranding his and Bonnett's crew. Yeah, I said it. We were all captained by both of them. And it was kind of nice."

"I never had a chance to be in a talent show. The old Blackbeard wouldn't've okayed that. Fang was super excited about it."

"What?" Jim asked. "He stranded the crew??? Where?"

"Yeah, I had to go with Izzy."

"Izzy" Jim grumbled under their breath.

"I had to leave them on an island a ways back. If you can even call it an island. Kind of a big rock in the middle of the sea." 

Jim's head was spinning and it wasn't solely because of Fang knocking them out in Blackbeard's office.

"Fang is sorry, by the way. I can tell you this. Me and him are getting tired of following Blackbeard's erratic orders. He's acting more and more disturbed every day."

"Did Ivan just say 'Blackbeard's erratic orders???" Jim thought, perplexed.

"And, of course, Izzy couldn't be happier. Grinnin' and limpin' around. I wish he'd've stayed gone after that fuckin' duel with Bonnett."

"That blow to my head. That's what this is, a reaction. I've got a concussion or something" Jim said. "A member of Blackbeard's crew talking openly about him 'acting disturbed'? And being tired of following orders? It must be my imagination."

But, no, even after blinking several times and shaking their head to get some sense into it, Jim saw Ivan still standing there, looking a little worried.

Just then Blackbeard opened the door of the storeroom where Jim had been left with Ivan.

"Not this again" Ivan muttered, seeing his boss in Bonnett's clothes.

"Steady, mate. Remember who you're addressing. I'm looking for Fang. Seen him? Oh, hello Jim. I'll deal with you later."

Blackbeard surveyed the room.

"No, no Fang here" he said. And he left. Slamming the door behind him.

"Oh yeah. He's steering the ship!" Blackbeard remembered. Finding Fang just where he expected to, he pulled him away, leaving Frenchie in his place with the instructions "just don't crash into anything bigger than us."