Jeff the Accountant Escapes the Wretched Burning Depths of Hades

Did You Just Call Him "Blackbeard"?

Blackbeard mistook the unease he saw on Mary's face for shock over seeing all the "colorful characters" aboard ship gathered together in one place. He didn't realize she'd heard his words "death at my hands will be the least of your worries."

No. The fierce pirate captain Blackbeard was too far gone, drifting on his own personal cloud nine of "Stede Bonnett is alive and we're going to be together one day." His gleeful expression when he saw Mary and Doug did not at all fit with the brutal warning he'd given his crew.

When Ed said "Okay, time to meet Death", Lucius knew he should intervene.

"A, Ed, maybe we should talk." Lucius tried.

"What? Oh. Come along, boy. Doug and Mary need to know what's in store for them."

Blackbeard thought he was saying "I'll introduce them to the person who'll take them to the best locations for the painting they want to be doing." "And they'll meet another 'colorful character' to boot!" he thought. Which is something Mary specifically mentioned.

Lucius thought it more likely that they heard "Death awaits you, you who thought you were boarding a ship with a run-of-the-mill scruffy old sea captain."

"Blackbeard..."Lucius said calmly, broaching the topic of the captain's true identity.

"What?" Mary looked at Doug and back to Lucius. "Did you just call him Blackbeard?"

"Well, yes, Mary." Ed was slightly taken aback. He looked from her to Doug, then back to her. "I'm Blackbeard. You knew that, right?"

Their stunned silence told him that they did not know that. That they had no inkling of that.

"But...Stede told you about me, right?"

"He told us about Ed." Doug said. "He somehow left out that 'Ed' happened to be the dread pirate Blackbeard."

Blackbeard didn't know how he felt about what was taking place. Uncomfortable? Yes. Angry? He didn't think so.

"Well, Edward is the name I was given at birth. You don't think there's a mother anywhere who would name her baby boy 'Blackbeard', do you?"

"You don't even have that much of a beard, though. And it's not really black" Mary reasoned.

Blackbeard rubbed his chin. "These things take time, you know? It was quite a crowd pleaser in it's heyday. And it was black. The ravages of time, and all that..."

"Okay, can we stop and take stock?" Doug spoke up. "Before we set sail? This is actually new information for us." He looked at Mary, but was unable to read her face. And that threw him. "Mary?" he questioned.

Mary couldn't explain it. She had been startled by Blackbeard's words to his crew, yes. But he had only been courteous and gentlemanly with her and Doug. Melvin, as well. No doubt there was a code that pirate captains and crew used when communicating with one another, that she and Doug just weren't privy to. And any stories she heard about the man whose ship she and Doug were on? Well, people are prone to exaggeration, aren't they?

Stede not mentioning that the person he was in love with happened to be a bloodthirsty pirate captain had to mean that there was more to him than, well, being a bloodthirsty pirate captain.

"Mary, Doug, listen. You have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I haven't tried to    deceive you. I honestly thought you knew.       I. Am Blackbeard. And I am Ed. And I'd sooner jump into the middle of a sharks' feeding frenzy than knowingly cause you any harm."

"I believe you, Ed."

"Mary??" Doug looked at Lucius. Was there any support there? Any sensible words from this seemingly sane, gentle member of Blackbeard's crew?

"Listen to your wife, Doug." Lucius put his hand on Doug's shoulder. "There's something to that 'woman's intuition', you know?"

"What he said!" Blackbeard smiled at Doug, who was, little by little, visibly letting go of his uncertainty.

"Now." Mary said "I assume 'Death' is the name of someone you want Doug and me to meet?" Mary said as she linked her arm in Ed's.

"Well, that's his nickname. You don't think there's a mother anywhere who would name their baby boy 'Death', do you?"

The easy laughter between them was back. And Doug and Lucius were swept up in it as well.