Much Like Falling

Chapter Seven

It was as if all the air had been taken out of the room. I felt cold and confused. The events from these past few days seemed unimportant and were soon pushed to the back of my mind. “Wh-what do you mean?” Was this some sort of sick joke? Dad was always known as a prankster back in the day. Maybe this was another one of his acts, I hoped. “When will he be back?”

The man grunted as if supressing laughter but when I turned toward him, his face was solemn, expressionless. There was nothing funny about this moment. Mum averted my eyes, her hands lying helplessly in her lap as if her energy had gone. She looked dazed, like all her emotions were becoming all too much for her to handle. “He won’t be coming back,” she breathed firmly. Mum’s face was a wet mess, I felt like grabbing a tissue and dabbing at her ruined make-up, because perhaps that would cheer her up a bit. I still barely understood what she was getting at. In ways, I didn’t want to understand. “The crash killed him, Emerson,” Mum said firmly. “He’s dead… my husband’s dead…” Mum covered her face as she burst into tears.

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked, hopeful. I couldn’t seem to soak in her words. It seemed too surreal. How could he be dead? Even though the hurt on Mum’s face could never be mistaken for a lie, I sort of expected Dad to jump up from behind the couch and announce the joke. But he wasn’t going to.

“Get out,” Mum whispered. When I didn’t move, she glared at me. “Get out!” she yelled, shoving me away from her. I let her words linger in the air, confused and distorted in my mind.

“But…” I began, but I lost my words as I tried to get my head around it. All the progress Rabbit somehow helped me with seemed to fade away. I was alone in the world again and no one understood how I felt. I needed to keep it together. I thought about Siobhan, would she be sleeping tonight, or hugging her teddy and silently crying?

“You heard me, get out. Go to your room!”

I slowly stood and walked past the man, not lifting my gaze above the floorboards. He was too expressionless but maybe that was his job; to deliver the same old sad clichéd message to the decease’s loved ones.

I slammed my bedroom door, turning on the light. I got a fright as I realised Siobhan was sitting on my bed against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. She stared up at me, tears rolling down her pink, rosy cheeks. The green in her eyes were more conspicuous than the brown as the whites were bloodshot. I sat next to her and lifted my twelve-year-old sister into my lap, hugging her tightly.

“Where were you?” she asked once she had calmed down.

“I was just at a mate’s house,” I quickly lied. I moved her off my lap so I could lie down, and I pulled her down next to me. I knew she would be sleeping here tonight and I didn’t mind.

“What are we going to do about Dad?” Siobhan rested her head on my chest. I couldn’t help but wish Rabbit was the one here, but I quickly got rid of that thought.

“We’ll be OK,” I assured her, brushing her hair out of her eyes. “Does Bradley know?” I had to close my eyes in order to keep my tears in. I couldn’t let Siobhan see me cry. I needed to stay strong for her.

“He was on speaker phone when she told us.”

“Was Rod with you?”

“No, he’s staying with Aunty.” Of course he was. Once I was certain Siobhan had fallen asleep, I let my tears go. It felt good, but in some ways I felt like I was being a coward.

Dad couldn’t be gone. We needed him to look after us, Mum would never be able to do it alone, and certainly not now that he was gone. I couldn’t believe it, and I was probably childish for thinking so.

What would happen to us?