Much Like Falling

Chapter Ten

I walked into my first period English class with my hood over my head, blocking any view of my face. No one knew what was wrong, and I wished to keep it that way. I just hoped Hayden would keep his mouth shut, but a part of me knew he wouldn’t.

As I walked around the class to take my seat, I felt everyone watching me. I wasn’t taking my usual seat but a table at the back of the room that’s usually empty. I was not ready to face Talia, or Rabbit. I was nervous and trembling, feeling my heart beat frantically in my chest. I looked up for a moment and instantly wished I hadn’t. Rabbit entered the room, but as soon as she saw me, she turned to leave. Mr. Kerr blocked the way and smiled at her, pointing to her usual seat at the back of the room, in the opposite corner to me. She looked vulnerable with her wide blue eyes, pinking cheeks and large black zip-up hoodie over dark blue skinny jeans. She bowed her head and pushed passed Clare and Patricia, ignoring their stuck-up glances. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, even when she turned my way and glared at me shyly, hugging herself before ignoring me completely. Should I talk to her?

“So,” Mr. Kerr started. “Only close to three weeks left and then you’re off to exams.” He clasped his hands in front of him, and then glared at Talia as she arrived late, as always. She muttered her apologies before glancing at where I usually would be sitting and frowned. She hadn’t noticed me. So far I wasn’t doing too badly. “I hope you are all prepared and spending your weekends studying instead of getting drunk.” He clapped a few times, getting our attention before continuing, “Since it’s Monday, and you are all tired from late-night partying,” he smirked, “I am giving you this period to do whatever you guys want. Of course, I hope you’ll use this time to study, but I know most of you won’t. No one leaves those doors, and I will be in my office if needed.” Mr. Kerr’s eyes narrowed at me. “Emerson! It’s nice of you to finally join us. Hood off, please.” At that, Mr. Kerr eyed us suspiciously before heading to his office, but leaving the door open. I knew our free period had nothing to do with us being tired, he was probably the one too tired to do any work. I wasn’t complaining though, I couldn’t be bothered working, and I was not going to remove my hood.

Talia turned around and instantly saw me. She smiled and got up. “Where have you been?” she asked, sitting beside me.

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the wood, avoiding her curious stare. Water glazed over my eyes as all the events from this past week came tumbling back into my mind. I fought hard not to let my tears go, but I couldn’t deny the lump that was forming, and my frantically beating heart made me feel sick to the core. I ignored her, too numb to make up an excuse. I could feel my sleeves sticking to my cuts, making them sting, but it was something I grew used to long ago. If Talia found out I broke last night, I would not hear the end of it. She’d be so disappointed.

“Uh hello-o-o? Are you ignoring me now?” I couldn’t look at her. How was I supposed to tell her my Dad passed away? I shouldn’t be at school; I wasn’t ready to face the questions. “You could have at least replied to our texts. Wait… you’re crying?” I bowed my head as a few tears started to fall. I squeezed my eyes shut, grimacing from the pain that poured from my left eye, and shook my head. I could feel people looking at us and I glanced up for a moment to see Rabbit’s eyes on me.

Yeah, smooth, Emerson. Cry in front of the girl you like. That’s not embarrassing at all.

“What’s wrong?” Talia whispered.

Not being ready to tell her, I walked out and left the “Freak!” statements behind me. Luckily for me, the corridors were empty. Shaking, I felt too weak to walk anywhere so I slid down the wall until my bottom hit the cold ground with force. I felt like shit.

I didn’t go to my second period class, but by third period I had calmed down and decided to get going with my day. I needed to keep my head up and act as if I was fine. Nothing was wrong, at all.

By the time I entered year twelve Biology, it was already twenty minutes in. I had to face twenty pairs of staring eyes, and Mr. Lang who half frowned when I let the door slam behind me. Without looking at the other students and ignoring Mr. Lang’s long list of questions, I made my way to the back of the room. “Hey, dude!” I glanced up to see my best friend stand from our table. He greeted me with a brotherly hug, and I fell into the thickness of his black shaggy hair. I fought the urge to cough from the cigarette smoke that he reeked of, remembering a time I used to smell of it too. Then I remembered that the last time I tried contacting him was when Jordan told me our friend was getting wasted. I wondered what that was about but at the moment, I wasn’t too bothered by it. “Wait, what happened to your eye?” he was the first to notice my black eye, though I wasn’t going to tell him my little brother punched me in the face. I pulled my hood further over my eyes and sunk into my seat, and that’s when I saw her.

She was sitting in front of me with her purple bag in her lap, rummaging to find her work books. She was laughing, talking to the girl beside her, who I knew to be Melody. I was friends with Melody back in intermediate, but we grew apart over the summer that lead to high school and never really seemed to properly talk since. We were both shy and completely socially awkward, though she would always ask us questions in Biology.

“Dude seriously, who punched you?” Blake whispered, “I’ll finish him!” I shook my head. Yeah, because I was totally going to let my best friend beat up my own little bro.

 “I am very disappointed,” Mr. Lang started; handing out what looked to be last term’s internal. “Less than half of you passed, and only one person got excellence.” As he reached the back of the class, I could feel his eyes lingering on me before stopping just shy of my table. He lowered my hood then scanned my page before throwing it in my face. I bowed my head deeper, my eyes, faintly incoherent, locating the ‘E’ circled in red marker.

“Who got the excellence?” Tracy asked, frowning at her own mark.

I smirked, but there was no need to boast, and I wasn’t exactly in the mood to jump up and down like I normally would. “That is none of your business.” Mr. Lang stood back at his desk, ignoring Tracy’s glare.

“Dude, I passed! I actually passed!” Blake squealed excitedly, jumping in his seat as if he had ants in his pants.

“That’s awesome, bro!” I tried matching my enthusiasm with his, but I couldn’t quite top it. He didn’t seem to notice, though. “I got excellence,” I shrugged.

“Fuck you!” he laughed, punching my shoulder.

Mr. Lang cleared his throat, but Blake continued to smile beneath his hair, proud of himself. “A lot of you choked on the last question…” as my Biology teacher began to explain the questions; I zoned out and couldn’t help but stare at the russet-brown in front of me. I so badly wanted to speak to her, but I was too nervous.

Melody turned around and whispered, “Hey, what did you guys- Emerson, what happened to your eye?” she smiled as if it was no big deal. Rabbit had the decency to turn around then, her eyes tracing my face. I couldn’t speak. My words got caught in my throat and when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. Blake nudged me under the table. I snapped my head toward his and he motioned toward Melody.

“Oh, right,” I cleared my throat. “Uh… I-um… I walked into a… door?”

“Isn’t that what every guy says when they get beaten up?” The smirk that shot across Rabbit’s lips was playful, but I missed the joke. I wasn’t in the mood to be made fun of, especially by the girl whose life I saved, and who wanted to forget that weekend ever happened.

I was in the middle of thinking up with a witty comeback when the door opened and Hayden came storming in. His dark hair was a mess, and he looked completely flustered. The class went silent as all eyes were on his. “Emerson?” he called out and I stood, grabbing my bag. “B-B-Bradley c-called and-”

I pushed him into the corridor, closing the door behind me. “Breathe,” I reminded him.

“M-Mum tried… uh… k-killing herself and um, Bradley is on his way to pick us up.”