Much Like Falling

Chapter Four

I was interrupted by a scream.

A short scream, as if they were in agony. “Why? Why can’t I do this?” the girl cried.

Wait, I didn’t remember seeing another car or person for that matter. I opened my eyes.

Where was she?

Hesitating, I wiped my eyes and turned away from the cliff’s edge, carefully making my way back to the evergreen and leaned on the trunk, peering through the gaps between leaves. I scanned my surroundings, but still couldn’t see anyone. Was I hearing things? No one was there.

“Hurry up!” she screamed the last word. It was hard to know where the noise was coming from as the wind seemed to be coming in all directions now.

It was so windy… so cold and windy.

I shuddered, hugging the tree. Maybe I should have kept my shirt on, but then again the water would be freezing. I wouldn’t feel a thing.

Just as I was about to give up and return to the edge, I saw a figure in the corner of my eye, down a steeper hill beside me. If she wasn’t pacing, I would mistake her for a tree.

She was pacing away from the edge, then nearer, away, and then near again, gripping her hair, her arms flailing, head bowed, then looking up at the sky. A few seconds passed before she started running to the ledge, then stopping just before taking that one last step.

Then it hit me.

She was like me. She wanted to die, but she’s scared. She was too scared to make that last step.

I ran.  I ran down the hill and I swore I had never run so fast in my life. I tried my best not to get tangled amongst the knee-length grass and weeds. Dodging trees and spider webs, I could feel my lungs and throat burning as I struggled to breathe. It was strange to think that just seconds ago I was about to end my life, and now all that I was yearning to do was to save this person. I wanted to comfort her. I had this strange feeling that all I wanted to do was to protect her.

As I got closer, I recognised her. She went to my school. I was pretty sure she was the same girl from my English class; she was wearing the same clothes.

She started running.

“St-stop!” I shouted, but nothing happened. She didn’t stop. I didn’t think she even heard me.

She got closer. No. No, no, no, no. I had to stop her.

I had to save her.

This was so hypercritical of me.

 “Stop!” I tried again, louder this time, hopeful that she heard. Yes! She stopped, twirled around, giving me a deathly glare. I wondered if she recognised me, but I doubted it. I could barely see her features behind her hair; the wind was pushing every strand possible over her face.

She didn’t say anything. She just stood there, looking at me.

I caught my breath. “D-don’t do this,” I cringed at how desperate I sounded as my voice broke.

She continued to stare, not saying a word.

I suddenly felt self-conscious. I completely forgot my chest was bare, and my scars were painfully visible. I folded my arms against my chest and slowly stepped forward. I had to be careful with her. I was in the same state of mind; I knew how scared she must be feeling. I knew how fragile she was. I couldn’t make a mistake; otherwise it would push her to the edge.

“Leave me alone,” she finally said, taking a step back. She was about two metres away from the edge of the cliff. I’d never been so scared.

“No,” What could I say to take her mind off killing herself? I wanted to save her, like she had seemed to save me. She didn’t even know she saved my life.