TEMPTATIONS OF US

PLANNING

AFTER 3MONTHS

i woke up when i felt some hands wrap my waist, i scratched my eyes and open it then i saw rod sitting beside me.

"hmm your here. do you eat already wait i'll prepare you food" i was about to stood up when he hold my hand.

"stay babe, i'm okay" he said, i just nood and smile. i can his eyes full of repentance. rod i'm sorry i starting to losing hope to negotiate with your another family.

i'm wondering if it's this really you? you making girls fall inlove with you then if you bored and you think the girl useless already you find another girl again? nasa contest ka ba rod! paramihan ng babae sa buhay
tell me rod nasa collection ba ako?
may schedule ba kaming lahat sayo? kung sino ang una mong pupuntahan at una mong titikman? kung sinong tatabihan mo sa kama at kung sino ang kakainin mo sa kama?

"babe" tears came out from him already. i didn't respond instead i bite my lower lips to avoid crying.

rod if i could've erase all of this. i'll do. i want to forget everything..the way you betrayed me, the way you change me. the way y'll change myself. hindi niyo lang alam how i tried to think that this is just a fucking delusional of mine. if i could turn back the time i wouldn't choose to seized all of you so that i can freely do whatever i want to be right now with my future child.

but you didn't let me. you all fucking betrayed me. it's funny dahil pinagkaisahan niyo pa akong lahat

but despite all of that i didn't choose to ask you about that. instead i keep all my questions for you para hindi masira kung ano ang binuo ko at kung ano ang pilit kong binubuo

"why are you crying" i innocently ask, even though i know the reason why he's crying. ofcourse he make a mistake.

mistake....mistake...mistake, that fucking mistake.

"babe i'm sorry for everythin--" i cut him, he doesn't need to continue. i already know what his point, mag so-sorry nanaman siya because of what he does.

it's okay rod, i'm used to understand you simula pinili ko ang buhay maging martyr.

"wala ka na bang meeting" tanong ko, then he wipe his tears and deep sighed, i admit he always want to talk about that. he always want to open that kind of topic but i already declining it and beat down his topic when it comes to honeylet.

mahirap ba maintindihan na ayokong pagusapan ang realidad na pilit kong tinatalikuran.

is that hard to understand you people!

"babe---" i cut him again.

"if you have nothing more to say leaven me rod. i want to take a nap" i said, he just smile and kiss my forehead before asking me again.

"what are you plans tomorrow" he ask, i frowned my head.

"tomorrow? i didn't have any agenda tomorrow. what's up tomorrow?" i ask, i heard his giggles.

"oh tumatanda na ang mrs. duterte ko" i pinch him on his thighs. matanda pala ha, kaya siguro naghanap ka pa ng iba! ang kapal mo rod mas matanda ka pa kaya saakin.

"i'm not joking" he almost chuckles when he heard my firm voice.

"babe tomorrow is your birthday" ahh so tomorrow it's my birthday. oh gosh i didn't even realize the date. masyado kase akong tumutok kay rod.

but even though my birthday is tomorrow may magbabago ba? did they think i'll throw a party to celebrate my birthday after what they done to me. siguro magiging masaya nalang ako sa birthday ko kapag si dad na mismo ang hahawak ng cake ko

siya lang talaga ang kakampi ko, they all betrayed me. even mom that i've trusted so much. mas pinili pa nilang pagtakpan si rod kesa saaking tunay nilang pamilya. the nerve!

"ah okay." i replied politely. he flinched.

"you don't have plans for you special day" i sarcastically scoff. special day. tsk.

"i have nothing plans for tomorrow. having you in my birthday is enough, spend your day tomorrow with me then i'll be happy" i said, he smile.

"ofcourse babe, where did you want to go tomorrow" he ask, actually i've been thinking to go out of the town but i'm cared for filipino's more than myself. rod is a leader here, he can't go anywhere in just snap of my finger.

if it's could've why not.

"i don't want to go anywhere tomorrow. just here in my house, i'll be prepare a lunch for us tomorrow." i said.

"how about your family, are you didn't want to invite them" i secretly rolled my eyes. i can still feel the wounds that they brought me so what do they need to expect.

"rod please just the two of us, if you don't want to spend your day tomorrow with me it's okay. i can celebrate my birthday alone" i said irritably.

"no babe, i'll spend my day tomorrow with you i promise" i smile as he kiss my forehead.

i miss you already rod, i want you to came back into my life the way you entered in my life before but my brain saying stop while my heart still beating for your name.

"okay let's sleep again" he said then he lay beside me and hug me tightly, i swear i'm not ready to sleep again with you rod. i'm too hesitant for you..

i heard my phone vibrate that's why i grab and i saw my family message.

bong: manang what's your plan tomorrow? did you want us to throw a party for you since i haven't seen any update of you.

i rolled my eyes, what do you think to me bonget hindi kayang mag pa-party? o baka gusto mo buong pilipinas imbitahin ko para sa party ko. tsk, kaasar.

Irene: manang i've been still looking forward to day that you are ready to talk to me the way we used to talk before, tomorrow is your birthday. i'm sorry manang forgive me. i didn't mean everything, ang bilis ng pangyayari. i was threatened by my own feelings i'm sorry manang, i miss you ate. also your pamangkin miss you already.

i'm sorry irene, i can't forget all the pain that you've brought me. i hope i can decived myself that this just a fantasy that i need to stop inside of my mind. but yet.....this is not, you've caused me so much pain that i can't even tried to forget.

napatawad ko na kayo irene, hindi ko lang alam kung kaya kong kalimutan ang lahat.

i didn't respond on their message instead i turn off my phone and threw that outside. it's okay, i can buy a lot of that darling.