Intro

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

Liz -
"Childhood is not from birth to a certain age and at a certain age
The child is grown, and puts away childish things.
Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies."
– Edna St. Vincent Millay
was that the case I thought nauseated was that really the way life is coming right now I don't know what to do the doctor told me Chris only has so many more months to live I thought what is a girl like me to do I cry and scream at something or do I just sit and chuckle I'm not sure what to do

I am broken from the inside.
The depression that slowly gnawed away at me has finally swallowed me whole.
And I could not defeat it.
I detested myself.

If I can't help myself breathe properly it's better to stop breathing at all.
I asked myself who was responsible for me.
Only I.
I am utterly alone.
It's easy to talk about the end.
It's hard to actually end.
I lived until now because of that difficulty.
I told myself I wanted to run. Not only away from the pain but reality of what's going on but then again running away from your problems doesn't really Help you in the long run it only Weissinger issues and doesn't teach you anything about being an adult and makes you less likely to take accountability for your actions let alone learn from your mistakes I thought I begin to get Emotionally ill I thought am I starting to get depression to me that's the worst thing that could ever happen to you is getting depression because that's like a death sentence you may be able to beat your depression for years but to me .

I would rather die than feel depressed and not be able to get out of bed and brush my teeth or something but then again normally told you you're going to get the depression from bullying what should never really even happen let alone you're going to get depression because you married a K-pop idol no fault of your own because you're a great person and then you get poisoned by his boss Lucky you I thought I done so much for Chris So I never fully understand the extent us to why JYP

he hates me but you can only pray that he'll come to his senses not the man could never come to senses he's a jack ass I mean he poisoned me Maddie and Karin it was really disgusting think about I want to ball my eyes out we survived and we survived and I thought we did but you would think he's the slightest amount guilty because well Chris ended up in the I see you next to me hon he passed out right away and Felix let's just say they had a shock him to get him to breathe again because he thought his whole world was gone his Maddie however we all survived and we are fighting and married but I'm still mad and I cannot believe that my husband's facing is illness I have to find him the best care even if I have to go to sweet and alone. I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me it was a pair of arms that I liked a lot it was a pair of arms of Karin I smiled at her navy blue and light blue fingernails she gave me a hug and told me that she would be there for me if I ever needed her.

Kairn -i'm serious if you need me I will go to Sweden with you and I'm sure Maddie would hop on a flight to be with you there's no reason why she wouldn't I can't see Maddie letting go now .

I can't see Maddie everybody new down and if we're both of us in our darkest hours with gifts but that's not why we love her we love her because she's always there to lend emotional support like this I'm serious did you really think that the boys and I were going to leave you behind no we are booked the jet we were going to surprise you but we didn't want you to go alone and feel like you were facing this alone.

Liz-
oh dear lord I thought here we go let's do this let's do this together oh God help me.