23. Sicknesses

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

Liz-
I don't

know how to feel the hospice team is here to help here for Chan but it's a lot of work mentally emotionally he's not needed or anything but just really difficult to see him in that position

we're supposed to grow out together not him go for move but I feel like being a nurse and seeing you know things that are happening I am mad because well I think that that it's not going to be longer before he crosses over .

I know what people say when it's the worst time of her life watching someone they want to get sick because they tell you to be selfish and pray to keep them there but then you think you don't want me to go through all this pain and suffering so you just start to you know pray that there's a miracle around the corner and that there won't be any more Pain but then you can but what about me what about the pain that

I am in because I'm a wife and who loves her husband why is this happening why is this happening to me Chris and trying to just keep everything in and be strong because I know when I go public with
I'll be there crying widow on television and I have to stay strong for the stays I think it would be no Chris and I are secretly married I think they know that but I'm not gonna blurt it out or anything It's best to stay quiet because I don't want anyone to know that I'm married I don't want anymore of my happiness to be taken away because by crying about it I'm making myself a huge target and I'm ruining the chances of him living we're supposed to go to Sweden for treatment but London is more of a better option for communicating and needs wants and medicine for him get the sob but then I felt a pair warm strong hands around me it was the pair of hands I love so much and those iconic fingernails and those beautiful Chanie cheeks.

Chris -where is my darling girl

please don't cry don't cry it's OK it's all right I'm I'm here I'm OK I will write you

know why I don't like it when you when you cry my darling it really bothers me because I think you're doing everything you can for me .

if I was on medical staff I know it's hard for me and you but I need you to stop crying babe because I miss you but good about the situation I would like you to relax can you do that for me can you please relax can you please relax for me please and thank you can you do that

I hate to see you can't say by you know

I don't like to see you cry my darling you know I want to see that beautiful smile with yours I'll be better in no time and then we can have our steamy sessions if you know what I mean

I love you my angel please smile because I'm still here so that means everything is all right.