25. Liar

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

Liz -
when I close my eyes it feels like a 4 inch hole has been punched in my chest almost like JYP is lurking around and breathing down my nest causing goosebumps due to his hot breath I feel disgusted by it I feel like I've gone bonkers and of course

I haven't gone bonkers but yet who knows if I have or haven't gone mad my husband is dying I feel like a grieving widow and I'm at the point where it doesn't matter how

I feel about my feelings they don't matter to anyone not even myself Chris live brought me to tears he said that he is here for anyone who needs it or love and support how could I not feel it at the moment San has been a great help with everything that has been going on with life and Chris needs I feel lonely at times I'm not going to cry anymore or sob it's not worth it really isn't worth it to get upset over it and I have no idea what to do think pray anything good god help me do I cry shout scream I miss you
When I say that
I miss you more
Even though I'm looking at your photo
I still miss you
Time is so cruel
I hate how things go between us
Now seeing each other for once is
So hard between us
It's all winter here
Even in August, it's all winter here
Time is gone by mind
Like a snowpiercer, I was left alone
I wanna hold your hand
And go to the other side of the earth
Wanna put an end this winter
How much do I have to long for you like snow piles up on the ground
Until the spring days come?
Friend
Like a tiny dust that floats in the air
Like a tiny dust
If the flying snow is me
I could've reached you
A little faster
Snowflakes are falling
you are getting farther away

oh gosh this is exactly how I feel about everything and now that Maddie and Felix are gone it's tough it's really hard apparently Felix drink got spiked at a party he died on the route to the hospital and it pushed Maddie over the edge I mean literally it pushed her to break of insanity she couldn't beat the negativity I remember the phone call and let's just say it's haunting me and will taunt us for the Rest of our lives
911 what's your emergency ?

Lee know - Mancini just hung herself and my friends drinks were spiked I think it's a possibility rape date murder mission and oh my god she's not breathing wake up wake up ! God damn you Maddy breathe breathe breathe come on please please

Operator- sir sir sir calm down I can't understand you is she breathing? " NO!" Okay okay calmly count to 3 and push on her chest and blow air in her mouth between pauses okay
Lee know -

123 Maddie breath 123 breath Maddie come on please I hear the sirens
EMT- I'm sorry sir but she's gone well place her in this bag and do an autopsy I'm so sorry for your loss and my condolences for you

Lee know - no no no oh my god
Han- Maddie and Felix are dead ?!
Oh my god I'm so sorry omg what about kairn liz and Chris how are they going to take it we have to tell them
Liz I'm so sorry

Liz - what Maddie is dead ?!
Chris - shh shh I'm so sorry what about Felix ?
Han - they said he went so peacefully and he didn't feel a thing

Chris - what ?!
Seungmin- no your lying no he's fine he's fine

Hynjin- no. I just talked to him
Changbin - no oh my god I hope she didn't suffer

Lee know - I did CPR on her for 30 minutes I believe her soul already left her body but got only knows how that works and she's with her soulmate she's with her person so it's okay it all works out in the long run .

If I wait a little longer
If I stay up all nights for a couple of more days
'll go to meet you I'll
go there to meet you
I'll come to get
Until this cold winter ends
And the spring comes again
And until the flowers bloom again
Please stay there a little longer