27. Kneeling

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

JYP-

sometimes guilt really affects you sometimes it affects you so bad you're kind of lose track of focus it's very hard to kind of forget myself that you know I told Felix to go audition for a movie and I told him he could teach the girl that he wanted to play Juliet didn't know it would've been Maddie that's very very tough to swallow the fact that he did she was murdered by a stalker
being the girl that he so desperately wanted was a lot to handle it you think about the color of Manny and then you realize that tune she's not necessarily hey pretty girl but you know that she's good at getting things like because she's so well spoken she's not manipulative she's not needy she's not whiny she's just a girl that you don't really know what to do or what to say to get her to look at you you think of the story of her and then you think OK well.

I didn't do anything wrong so I have to live with the consequence that she is and she was and always will be the love of Felix's life and that's tough because I hated the girls from the get-go I hated them so much because I knew that the boys were either going to want to be best friends with them or they were going to be soulmates and I was hopeful for the best friend part but as soon as Chris Saul Liz it was like his eyes popped out of his head he was like Goo goo Gaga over her and it was ridiculous I mean I have no idea what the big hype is about these girls I will never know what the big hype is about these girls.

I mean now I have to face the fact that the boys are the boys are dead or one more is headed down that road The funeral for Felix was very sad and his mom was in such hysterics should be carried out and then Maddie's family she didn't have any but the ones that did show up or asking for 50% of her inheritance but I had to tell them no because all of Maddie's inheritance would be going to Felix's mom needless to say they weren't happy about it they wanted all of Maddie's money and they wanted it now so they helped create a law Maddys honor because as much as I hated her she really was a good advocate for people who were like her and keeping them safe and keeping their money safe.

I think that's why Maddie was always there for Felix due to me being so mean to him he did a body dysmorphia and became very insecure and always wanted hugs and reassurance from anybody that would give it to him I think with Maddie she was so good to him by giving him vegetables and filling foods that were healthy and low carb that she literally saved his life and that's a lot to take in her just saving his life and he loved her for it and there's nothing I can do to change it there's nothing I can do to change anything really I can't change the fact that they went through what they want to hear all I can do is learn to become a better manager and a better person and a better human being i'll get there eventually but that day's not today.