31. Temperature

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

Liz-
The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here
I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you, I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight
When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past

I'd whisper in your ear
"Oh Chris darling, I wish you were here" no no it's not going down like that it's simply not I thought no I'm selfish and very selfish what type of person am I if I let him be in pain for the rest of his life I'm not a good person at all I'm a sucker I need to stop being so selfish and what what's best for him but it is selfish I know because I want to best for me to I want to be happy but I don't want Chris to be in pain .

I remember one of the books she wrote 5 years prior to this
in one of Maddie's books she had wrote in her earlier years she said it's easy to think about taking your life but it's very hard to go through with it that's exactly how she felt up until she met Felix and then just have to be feel like she said it was the fact that any man could love her because she said every single boy in her hometown rejected her and every single person she met on a dating site rejected her everybody rejected her so she said when she met feel like she was on cloud nine and her unexpected death was very shocking.

I mean everything was looking up for her she had never been battered tiedowns or alcohol just like me I've never done anything bad in my life and I met Chris but I don't understand why Maddie and Felix that taken so soon and wife Chris is going to die soon I just don't understand I can beg and I complete and do all these things but nothings going to change I know hospice has come today and they were wanting me to meet with them and talk about sedation but I'm not ready to think about that but I know it is coming.