29. Now

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by MaddieMeyer1

by MaddieMeyer1

Mingi -

Maddy's
death has really put a big hole in my heart and it hasn't been easy with her and I am still make coming to terms with the legacy that she is going to leave on it's not easy without her it's been very hard without Maddie because Maddie in a lot of ways has left our world upside down she has flipped it upside down and it hasn't come back.

It has not come back for circle it has been nothing but pain suffering her uncertainty because Maddie has been gone for this long I need you that in a short amount of time that Maddie has been gone that it would leave a hole in my heart like this has always been there for others .

I know that her send her money hear the news Maddie has been gone now for six weeks but we haven't announced it yet because you know we're all trying to process how my moment she's smiling at a party with him up her mind next minute she's gone and away break down because of Maddie's departure and I don't necessarily think it was just Maddie's departure that made her have a meltdown

I think it's because of what she's going through can talk about watching someone died and that he's not here anymore she's going to be in a coffin I mean no one has really asked me how .

I feel and that really bothers me because I love Maddie so much and I will always love her &
I mean Maddie always said the hardest part of a death is just taking a day by day but I don't want to take a day by day like I want my Maddie and I know that Maddie's not coming back and that's a lot to take in the fact that she's not coming back I love her so much .

I mean I am so mad at the people who poisoned her because Maddie would still be alive if people didn't poison Felix the fact that you can buy something to laugh about it that is the whole level of sickness that

I will never understand and it's very hard.

I don't get the mentality and some people we will never understand the mentality of people
But people like this exist all we can do is pray for them to learn their lesson it's very hard like I think of her every single day .

I can hear her laugh going to Mexican restaurants have really been hard because that was her favorite like Mexican restaurant and it's just been hell for me I miss my best friend I miss Maddie so much Maddie and I we had a great little relationship and I think of her every day and end of people and help them and it just it's very tough and it hurts and I miss her so much oh princess Maddie you were so kick ass and you did everything you could to help people the people didn't want to see your kindness .

I love you Manny I wish I could walk you down the aisle at your wedding Mancini but at least you know you and Felix
are in heaven now and there's no more pain or suffering just me and others I mean Maddie I hope you realize what a big hole you left in everyone's heart including mine .