Little Avenger

2c

Now, we all sit in the new common room, listening to Rhodey and Sam argue, saying what we'd like to say as well. I'm sitting beside Tony, who frustratingly holds his hand on his face in annoyance while I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor, which is one more than you have." Rhodey points.

"So, let's say we agree to this thing." Sam starts. "How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?"

"Hundred seventeen countries want to sign this. Hundred seventeen, Sam, and you're just like, 'No, it's cool. We got it.'"

"How long are you gonna play both sides?"

"I have an equation." Vision interrupts.

"Oh." Sam turns. "Oh, this'll clear it up."

"In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man, the number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate."

"Are you saying it's our fault?" Steve asks.

"I'm saying there may be a causality. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight. Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand."

"Boom." Rhodey turns to Sam and I roll my eyes.

"Tony." Nat calls. "You are being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."

"It's 'cause he's already made up his mind." Steve states.

"Boy, you know me so well." He says and I lift my head so he can sit up. "Actually, I'm nursing my electromagnetic headache."

We all watch as he heads to the kitchen.

"That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain. It's discomfort. Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?"

He pulls out a screen and places it in a basket of fruits, pressing it to show a hologram of a boy.

"Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way." He points. "He's a great kid. Computer engineering degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't want to go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where. Sokovia."

I turn away at that, my eyes watering at the thought.

"He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. I mean, we won't know 'cause we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass. There's no decision making process here. We need to be out in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept the limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys."

"Tony, someone dies on our watch, you don't give up." Steve states.

"He's not giving up." I roll my watery eyes.

"We are for not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame."

"I'm sorry, Steve." Rhodey claps. "That is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not Shield, it's not Hydra."

"No but, it's run by people with agendas and agendas change."

"That's good." Tony walks back to us. "That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stopped manufacturing."

"Tony, you chose to do that. If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if the panel decides to send us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there is somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect but, the safest hands are still our own."

"If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later. That's the fact. That won't be pretty."

"You're saying they'll come for me." Wanda nods and Pietro takes her hand.

"We would protect you." Vision states.

"Maybe Tony's right." Nat suggests and we all turn to her confusedly. "If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off..."

"Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?" Sam leans towards her.

"I'm just reading the terrain. We have made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back."

"Focus up." Tony places his hands on the back of the couch, facing Nat. "I'm sorry. Did I just mishear you or did you agree with me?"

"I wanna take it back now."

"No, no, no, you can't retract it." He shakes his finger at her and I smile slightly. "Thank you. Unreciprocated. Okay. Case closed. I win."

"I have to go." Steve stands, tossing the book on the coffee table and leaving the room, all very quickly.

I turn back to Tony, hanging his head. I look at everyone else in the room and see them full of thought, seeing they have all made up their minds, even if they haven't fully said it yet. I shake my head and lay it in my hands, elbows on my knees.

"Lily." Nat calls.

"What?"

"What do you think?"

"Now, I can say what I'm thinking?" I lift my head. "Well, what I'm thinking is that, this wouldn't have happened if I handled Ultron. And, I know, you're tired of hearing me complain about this but, I really don't care right now. Tony's right. Steve's right. Every opinion that I have heard is right. We need these Accords..."

"B-"

"Shut it, Sam. I am finally saying what I have been thinking for a fucking year. We are so out of line here. We are dangerous, we are reckless. But, I'm not signing those either. I am not going to let myself be controlled by people who believe they can just take away the rights given to us at birth. They want to take away our freedom and I am not doing it. I blame Loki. I blame Hydra. I blame Ultron. And I blame myself. I could have stopped all of this in the blink of an eye but, I didn't. And now, people from all around the world are dead and that is on me. This is my fault. And I'm sorry."

I stand with tears running down my face and hurry out of the room, ignoring the pleads, telling me to come back, stopping everything around me and getting to my room as fast as I can, resuming it all as I sob on my bed, full of guilt, anger, sadness, and regret.