multifandom oneshots| male reader

Now That You're Dead- Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)

pairing: (can you call this a pairing?) gn!reader n eddie munson
summary: you never had the courage to admit that you liked eddie and now that he's dead, you regret it every day, visiting his grave rain or shine
genre: angst, try-hard comedy
warnings: eddie's dead :(, unrequited love/crush, crying, visiting a graveyard, swearing
a/n: i hate myself i'm sorry (wow look who wrote this in one sitting and edited it in another,, should i screw myself by saying end of writer's block arc???)

The breeze calmly drifts back and forth. In the distance, leaves and grass rustle. Far behind, cars can be heard driving past. There's a sea of headstones as far as the eye can see. In front of you stands a tree and a headstone; they rest on the outskirts of the cemetery. The ground you sit upon is firm, not mushy like it had been. The grass pricks and tickles your skin, making it just uncomfortable enough to seem reasonable.

You lean forward, sitting on your knees to reach out and trace the letters on the gravestone. E You sigh, starting this over again. D D I Your finger trembles for a moment. E M U N S God, you wish things were different. O N You sigh. The stone is still as cold as it first had been against your fingertips. That wasn't reassuring nor was the breeze that came with the realization. "I know," You mumble, "I know." The rustle of what leaves were left on the tree in front of you also doesn't help. "Okay, I get it!" You put your hands up and sigh frustratedly.

"Eddie," You clear your throat as you unfold the letter that had been sitting in your drawer for months and then in your pocket for weeks, and finally today, in your hands all day. "This is stupid," You grumble, "but I've gotta get it off my chest, even if... you're not here."

You set the letter in your lap and shake your sweaty hands. "Gah! Why is this so hard!?" You can practically hear Eddie's laughter at that; it sets you on the verge of tears.

"Okay," You sigh and pick up the letter. "Here goes..."

You hold the letter up as you read it, not able to look anywhere else but the words.

"Eddie, now that you're dead," You swallow and it feels like there's an ever-growing lump in your throat. "Now that you're... I have to tell you this.. because I didn't-" Tears start to blur your vision and you try your best to blink them away quickly so you can read the rest of the letter. "Because I didn't get the chance to tell you." This isn't on the letter but you add, "Because I was stupid."

"Eddie Munson, how do I describe thee?" You smile at your own little bit, hoping that maybe if Eddie can hear this, he'd get a kick out of it. "You're a goofball, you were.. my friend, you were the leader of hellfire, you were a drug dealer. Yes, I know what's in your lunchbox," You chuckle sadly to yourself. "You were a freak, so was I. But you're more than all that," You wave it all off. "You're Eddie Munson. You were Eddie Munson. And I-" It's always this part that gets you.

"And I, Eddie Munson, I love you. Loved you. Fuck! I don't know what's right because you're dead but I still love you." You sigh in exasperation. "I really did- do- whatever!"

"Eddie, I was such a pussy.. still am. I couldn't muster up this stupid confession without a letter and you're dead! I mean c'mon! How pathetic!" You groan, hiding your face in your hands. "I feel like such a fucking idiot," You start to diverge from the letter, letting your feelings form words that just endlessly spill past your lips like vomit. "I am a fucking idiot! I mean," You angrily jut out your hands and gesture toward his headstone, "you were right there in front of me! I could have had you but I was too stupid and now... Now, man, you're fucking dead!" A tear slips down your cheek as you give one good, solid pound to his headstone. "And now I'm here... On my knees, at your grave... Crying like an idiot." You shake your head. "And, man, do you have a solid headstone! I feel like I just broke my hand," You sigh, trying to shake off the hurt coursing through your hand.

"Now that you're dead, Eddie Munson, I can admit that I like you, I love you, I have the biggest, stupidest, fattest crush on your nerdy ass." Your lip quivers after you finish speaking, it pulls at your heart, and you want to die. "If I could just lay on the ground and be absorbed, I'd totally do that."

You suck in a sharp breath, "It sucks here without you, Eddie." You can finally admit it, not that you were ever really denying it. Hawkins was miserable without his presence; without his dorky smile, without his obnoxious music blasting, without his stupid speeches in the lunchroom, without his sly yet annoying flirting, just without him. Not to mention Dustin and Steve and Wayne who are just as miserable, if not more than you. Then there's that empty feeling when you're at the trailer park or in the cafeteria or in the woods and he isn't there like he should be.

You crawl closer to his headstone, turning around so that your arm's behind it like you're holding Eddie or something. "I miss you," You croak out, leaning your head against the headstone. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you..." You close your eyes and sigh. "Such a fuckin' pussy," You mumble under your breath. "I should have told you," You finalize. "Should've fuckin' told you."

"...Now... you're dead."

"I'm sorry." And the tears start up again.

---

Somehow, not even the rain had woken you up. You sit soaked and uncomfortable before realizing there's a hand on your shoulder. "Eddie?!" Half-asleep and excited, you shout.

"I'm sorry," Steve comes into your vision, kneeling in front of you. "Not him but I'm getting you home." You hear him grumble something about you catching a cold before he wraps an arm behind your back and helps you up.

Once you're both in the car, Steve turns to you. "Hey," He reaches over, "you don't always gotta sit out in the rain, you know?"

"I know."

Steve leaves it at that, looking at you sympathetically before starting up his car. He sighs, running a hand through his rain-slick hair. This wasn't the first time he's picked you up in the rain at the graveyard and it doesn't seem like it will be the last.