I wake up in a pool of my own sweat with an arm sticking to my skin. Groaning and my head pounds inside of my skull begging to come out and my throat begs for water.
I turn over to face the arm that is stuck on me to see the worst possible person to even be in bed with me. Thoughts flood into my brain as I piece together the night before and I try to get out of his grasp.
"Don't pull this shit, I know you liked it. Fuck even I half enjoyed myself," Gerard says pulling me closer. I still try to squirm out from under him before he takes both of my wrists into his hands and flips me onto my back with force.
"Gee... what are the guys going to say when we both were gone the whole night," I say looking up toward him. He tilts his head to the right with a confused look before a smirk dance onto his face.
"Sugar...they would never think the two of us were together, to begin with. Why the fuck would I go for you? Besides, they saw me storm out after our conversation. Why would that ever mean I would be with you," Gerard says before leaning down and placing a thick hickey onto my skin.
I start to squirm causing him to bite harder and I let out a groan.
"G-gerard. get...GET THE FUCK OFF," I scream out and use as much force as I can to push him off. He lets go of my skin and straddles me flicking his head back letting a sigh out and closing his eyes.
I sit up in horror at him and slightly turn on. He is enjoying this, scarring me, making me feel worthless and inferior. My own breath was quick and my face shriveled up in itself.
"What is that face for sugar? Are you scared of me now? I ruffled those pure feathers," Gerard says licking his lips as he looks at me.
"You think that this is a joke, Gerard?! WE HAD SEX! YOU ARE MARRIED! YOU ARE MY BOSS! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! This is so ruined, MY CARRIER IS RUINED," I say sitting up as he slightly moves off of me with an annoyed groan. I place my hands in my hands and my anxiety heightens. Everything that I built for myself, all of the long nights that I spent taking care of them, all of the digs I took from him. Years ruined in a couple of hours.
"Joke? No. I don't think that this is a joke Y/n. I needed a release, time away if you will. I got that. Now, it's done with," Gerard says standing up and started getting dressed.
"W-what are you doing," I say looking over at him.
"What the fuck does it look like? I'm leaving. We are done here now unless you want to go for round 2," Gerard says snapping his belt tight on his hips.
I look down towards my palms rubbing my thumb across one. I hear him chuckle and I look back up at him.
"Told you, no angel. Wait 30 minutes before leaving here. Don't want to get back to the hotel at the same time. Not that it really needs to be said because no one would believe you, but don't tell anyone about this. Not that I really care what happens to you or your career. I just rather not get banned as one who cheats on his wife," Gerard says placing his sunglasses on and sticking a cigarette in his mouth before leaving the room.
-
I get back an hour later instead of 30 minutes. I had to wash off the sins of last night, not like they would ever mentally leave. I let a few tears roll down my face on the way back, humiliated by my own actions. And even more humiliated that I enjoyed it, that I would stoop that low to let some degrade me so horribly. He has done a lot to me, but last night he tainted my very being, and I allowed it.
"Y/n! THANK GOD," I hear Frank says as I walk onto the bus. He lunges at me and gives me a big hug.
"We looked everywhere for you last night! Where were you," Ray says in a motherly tone. I look over to Mikey who is giving me a questioning look. I know that look, and it's never a good one.
