* Back to me by All American rejects*
"S-stop Gee..I can't do this," I say trying to make sense of where we are.
I feel Gerard grind into me with all his force, and I love it.
"Shh... Y/n please," Gerard says trying to continue the moment.
I feel drawn into the moment, intoxicated by the feeling. But I know that I shouldn't.
"Gee...I...I can't" I say between kisses and him moving towards my neck.
"I'm the only one that you need Y/n. Can't you see," Gerard says continuing to kiss me.
My breath and heart stop, it is everything that I need and wants out of my life. To be with him, to feel him.
"G-..GERARD...PLEASE..I," I say pushing him off of me. He stumbles back. Lust and desecration written all over his face, making my heart swell wanting to reach out to him.
All I can do is clutch my chest and weep.
"Y/n...please..don't...why are you crying," Gerard says reaching out towards me making me hysterical.
"STOP...p-please...I- I just..I just can't do THIS GERARD," I say between chokes. I am a mess, I know that I am. I am entangled in my emotions and the man that could care less about me. Knowing that I don't mean anything to him.
Knowing that he is married. The waves are crashing down and I am drowning.
"Y/n...what is going on how can I help you," Gerard tries to bring me back down reaching towards me and I pull my arms into myself. Not allowing this venomous poison to touch my skin that can draw me in again.
"You can't Gee. I am lost. I am lost within your grasp. You want to control me? To do anything you want to me without repercussions. Here you have it, I am done. I have nothing else to give you. My career is over, my relationship with your fucking brother is over. So TAKE IT. Give me all you got because I am out," I say with every ounce of energy I have left in my body. Tears poured out of my face letting everything I got left of self-control go. Once I say it I feel euphoria.
"Fine... you think that there is nothing left. Fine with me," Gerard says pulling my hips closer to him and making me gasp.
"You think that no one cares what happens to you? Fine Y/n. I can make you feel like the scum of the EARTH," Gerard says ripping my shirt in half and exposing my bra.
I went from defeated, to horny, to scared. This is the power this man holds over me. And I bask in every moment of it.
"I told you from the beginning Y/n. You are dealing with darkness. You are feeding it, what makes you think that you giving up on it is going to end ANYTHING? I want you, I NEED you. I take whatever I want from you," Gerard says digging himself into me.
I arch my back in response to the motion. Cursing my inner needs for it.
"I took the pills for this empty night because it makes me who I am," Gerard says between kisses making me more ravenous clutching any part of him.
"Gerard...why? Why me," I say breathlessly entangled within him. He pulls back leaning his forehand and resting on mine.
He leaves for a moment going into the bathroom leaving me cold and questioning myself. I pull at my own skin.
Am I not pretty enough for him? He has everyone in the palm of his fingers. Fuck the fans are prettier than his own fucking wife! God, what is he doing with me? Abort... ABORT!
I feel my panic attack creep in and condemn me to the bed that I am on. The bed that is my boss's, the bed that I shouldn't be in. I will have a heart attack at a young age and have nothing but regret to show for it. I shouldn't be dealing with a married man, I know that his home life isn't good. I have no right to mess it up.
