DEVOTED

five

BILLIE
"you really shouldn't be working yourself so much you know?" I jump at the voice and turn around to see ash making a smoothie in my kitchen.

"who let you in?" I ask catching my breath and drop the gym bag I was carrying.

"your mom, she just left though to go looking around the city with your dad and finneas told me they'll be here when it's time" she tells me turning on the blender.

I nod indicating to go take a shower, she nods and goes back to the smoothie. I pick up my bag and walk to the bathroom to start the shower and pick out something to wear.

by the time I was out ash was sitting on my couch with her phone in hand, "I made you a smoothie" she says pointing at it, I thank her as I take it and sip on it.

"why are you suddenly going to the gym?" she asks tilting her head at me, I put down my drink and lean back on the couch.

"go get my body back, I'm not exactly the most flattering right now" I shrug, her eyebrows furrow as she eyes me and shake her head.

"I think you are, give yourself a break, you were carrying a baby after all" she says sipping on her drink.

"I know.. I just.. I don't know, I'm glad you do but this is not where I feel comfortable with myself" I sigh picking on my fingers.

"that's okay, do whatever makes you happy, I think you're beautiful" she says switching off her phone and throws it aside.

"thank you" I mumble bouncing my leg, "why are you here so early? I thought you had plans today before you came over?" I ask reaching for my drink again.

"I did until my plans started making a move on me" she says with a shrug making me breath in sharply, "I wasn't sure how you would have felt about that since you're the one that called me down here so I left" she adds making me nod.

"I don't know how I would feel about it either" I say honestly, she smiles softly with a nod, "is it the girl you're staying with while you're here?" I ask.

"yeah, as far as she knows I'm single and we use to kind of date in high school" she says with a nervous smile to see my reaction, I nod refusing to meet her eyes.

"so you're staying with your ex?" I ask simply.

"I guess you can say, we never officially dated just what we had" she shrugs, I kiss my teeth as I roll my eyes.

"and what we had was really special ash" I say calmly playing with my straw, "did you guys have sex when you dated?" I ask looking up at her, she nods slowly making me roll me eyes.

"billie, nothing happened though" she says making me cover my face with my hands and run my hands through my hair.

"it really doesn't matter ash, I don't know why I'm asking so many questions like I own you" I say shaking my head, she nods slowly bouncing her leg.

it stays silent a bit before I open my mouth, "you don't have to answer this but.. is she the one you lost virginity to?" I ask fiddling with my hands, her silence gave me the answer.

"so she's really special" I chuckle.

"billie" she sighs, "what you're doing is not fair, we wouldn't have ended things if it wasn't for you wanting to move here and I thought it would be better than me seeing you 24/7 because I don't think I would be able to resist myself and I know that's not what you need right now. I was just trying to connect with an old friend and I could have had sex with her today but I didn't because you're all that consumes my mind" she says running her hand through her hair.

"plus losing my virginity was nothing special, it was just a drunken mistake" she adds, I bite my lip and nod slowly.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line and even if you would have had sex with her, it is none of my business. I'm sorry" I apologize making her nod.

"it's okay, I get it" she dismisses me, I bite my lip as I stare at the drink before a knock pulls me out of my daze.

thank god.