My World In Hers

okay

"Hey dude."

"Yeah"

"Have you ever had something unexpected happen to you and you can't stop it because it makes you happy but it could anger those you care about?" Trevor asked as we sat dangling our feet at the rooftop of an abandoned building outside the city.

I took a drag from my cigarette as his question went and lingered in my mind. I stayed silent for a while and thought about how it almost sounded like my situation with Natasha.

"Well I'm not some sort of motivational speaker or something and I'm not going to tell you lies. I just think sometimes in life you need to be selfish and do what's best for you. Look out for number one and the rest can come." I say truthfully.

It was amazing how I was the therapist for all my friends but I was the most messed up from all of them .

"So I have to be selfish?" He says puffing out the smoke.

"Yep do it for you." I said and it seemed to clear something in his head because he smiled at my statement.

I wanted to ask him what he was talking about but I had a feeling he would tell me when he was ready.

"You're gonna tell me when you are ready?" I asked looking at the guy who had become a brother to me.

"Once I have it all figured out, I don't want to jinx it." He said finishing his third cigarette as we watched the sun set.

"Okay bro as long as you're okay." I said gently squeezing his shoulder as I watched the sun set and looked at my watch figuring it's time to go home.

When I arrived  home I parked outside and found that all the lights are switched off. I internally smiled. I used my key to open the door and went to the sitting room to get pain tablets in the kitchen.

"Do you realize what you have done?" A deep voice asked and immediately my heart laced up it's shoes and started beating so fast I thought I was going to vomit it out.

"I really don't feel like doing this I have a headache." I said turning to walk towards the stairs.

"What's wrong with you we apologized for what we did are you going to be angry at us until we die!" He said as I stopped and slowly turned to look at him.

"Apologise?" I scoffed." What the fuck am I supposed to do with your apology? Is your apology going to mend the scars? Shove your apology up your arse you are a disappoinment of a parent I wish you were dead I hate you with passion for what you did to me!" I said through gritted teeth and it seemed to make him sad before a look of anger replaced his sadness in his eyes.

"Be careful how you speak to me I am still your father!" He said exercising his authority over me.

"Some father you are." I said and the moment the words left my mouth I felt my cheek burn as a big hand print was visible and blood gushing out of my nose.

"What gave you done!" Mother came running and tried coming to me but I held my cheek and tears rolled down my face as she tried holding me but I moved away from her.

"Don't touch me! I hate you and I hope you die a slow painful death." I said running up the stairs and my mom placed her hands on her mouth.

My ear was ringing from the slap and my heart turned dark in that exact moment I lost everything my feelings, sympathy I mean everything.

My soul was broken and it was now dark and hurt and angry.

I had a very terrible anger and once I was angry there was no going back.

I couldn't sleep the whole night and I didn't shed a single tear I just looked at the ceiling until morning.

I got out of bed when the annoying sound of my alarm wouldn't stop and went to my bathroom to take a shower when I looked at the mirror I had a busted lip and the hand print was gone but my lips and nose told a story.

I decided to wear an oversized hoodie today and hide myself.

The hoodie was useful for hiding my face as I moved on autopilot around the school corridors.

Jerah was not at school today and I didn't see him at home. I wasn't in the mood to explain what happened.

"Yo man what's up?" Trevor asked as he came walking by my side with a few other people of our dance crew.

"Not today." I said removing his hand from my shoulder as I walked faster with my head down and he instantly understood and didn't push me he just explained to the others that I was probably sick or not feeling good today.

I walked to my locker and took books I needed.

"Well well look what we have here. The little miss big shot." I heard Micah say he was from flame our rival dance group and he was cocky as hell he also liked pissing me off.

"Fuck off." I said with my head in my locker trying to compose myself from taking out my frustrations at him.

"Oooh she's mad are you on your period?" He asked mockingly as a crowd gathered around us. "Oh look guys little Amara is on her period and she's bitchy too. What you can't handle a little period pain like the little bitch you are?" He said placing his hand on my shoulder as the crowd around us snickered.

In my head I had already killed him seventy times in fifty different ways.

I tried composing myself as I counted to a hundred trying to keep my anger under control.

"Look everyone she's scared that we'll see that she doesn't even have a dick. She's just a little pussy if you had balls you could handle something so small as period pain little bitch." The crowd laughed.

Ever heard of a breaking point? Well this was mine.

I turned around and grabbed him by his throat and pinned him against the wall as his feet dangled in the air.

Yeah I was very strong.

I saw his face then let him look into my eyes that were probably cold and dark showing exactly how my soul was.

"You wanna see a little bitch, I'll show you a little bitch." I said through gritted teeth
I threw him on the floor and he slowly backed away as I walked towards him
In my Head I was beating up all the people who didn't me wrong.

I grabbed his throat as I swung multiple bunches at him. I could hear people screaming and telling me to stop but I was so high on adrenaline that I thought I was beating the one who messed me up that I couldn't hear anything.

All I remember was someone grabbing me by my waist as I squirmed trying to get back and fight Micah.

"Amara stop!" A voice said and I looked up to see her standing there looking absolutely horrified and Micah lying on the floor with  blood all around him and everyone looked at me like I was a monster and they slowly backed away from me when I looked at them. I looked down at my hands and they were bruised and filled with cuts and Trevor put me down as he looked at me with concern

He knew what was going on.

I felt like I couldn't breathe with everyone looking at me so I grabbed my bag and ran out. I heard Trevor calling for me but I didn't stop running and my tears blinded my vision as my head started spinning and everything went dark.

"Amara?"