My World In Hers

I don't know

I couldn't feel anything I felt numb, guilty and ashamed. I couldn't even bring myself to call Natasha. Learning that Jerah would be paralyzed from the waist down messed with my sanity, it felt like a switch went off in my head and morphed reality into something else, I couldn't even bring myself to go to their wards and check on them.

I sighed looking at my phone to see Natasha calling and I knew I had to talk to her at some point so I mustered up the courage.

" Hey babe." My voice was low as I walked past Jerah 's bedroom

" Hi."

" What's on your mind?" I asked noticing that she sounded distant.

" Well this is weird but can you please come outside?"

"What do you-" I cut myself off as I ran down the stairs opening the door and walking to the gate to see her there inside my car.

" Hop in." She said and I gestured to my sweatpants and hoodie with bunny slippers, yeah I'm a big softie.

She laughed and I walked around to the passenger side, entering.

" Hello." I brought her hand to my lips kissing it gently and she smiled.

She turned on the stereo and drove while I placed my hand on her thigh rubbing slow circles while listening to her humming to the music, it cleared my mind for a moment and I was focused.

" We're here!" She announced indicating to our secret spot outside town, I opened my eyes and she got out taking a briefcase from the truck and grabbed my hand leading me to the forest.

"Lemme carry that for you." I  offered and she said she was okay but after my insisting she allowed me to carry it.

We now stood at the edge of a mountain with a field of tulips and wild flowers below. I watched as she set up a blanket on the grass and took out what looked like canvases and paint then she grabbed my hand sitting opposite me.

" Okay look, I know you're not comfortable with talking and I don't want to put you in the spot like that, so we can paint instead so you can hopefully clear your mind." She said looking worried. " But if you don't want to that totally fine." I looked into her eyes and took her hands kissing them then her head and forehead.

" Thank you." I kissed her forehead again and she hummed as I sighed sitting cross legged.

" So how does this work" I chuckled and she smiled.

" Just paint whatever is on your mind, let your brain take control." She said and it almost sounded like writing, letting the pen write your thoughts and shit.

I nodded grabbing paint and brushes as she did the same I looked at her , really looked at her. I could feel my chest tight with emotions I couldn't say, or figure out.

" What?" She smiled at me.

" Nothing." I looked away as I started with a few strokes and I continued feeling my stress ease off me coming off in waves, the warm sunlight and light music created a calm atmosphere and I'm not sure how long I took but when I was done I sighed looking over at Natasha who had her phone out taking a picture of me.

"You stalker, how long have you been done for." I smiled as she blushed pointing her phone at me.

" A while."

" Whatchu doing" I said tickling her and she squirmed away laughing.

" You're not playing fair." She walked over to my side kneeling next to me, her hair was let down today and she wore a lavender dress showing off her angelic curves, her brown skin glowing bronze under the sun giving an enchanting aura to her like she was made of gold.

" You painted me?" She asked shocked looking at my canvas that displayed her smiling face. Her head was next to my shoulder and I spoke looking at the painting.

" You center me Natasha, bring peace to my world." I wanted to say more but I held back to find her looking at me with unshed tears in her eyes. " I think I'm falling for you." I added with a whisper kissing her softly and she pulled away resting her head on my shoulder her arms around my waist.

" Do you feel better now?" She rubbed circles around my back and I sighed.

" Yes." Mainly because she was here.

I closed my eyes enjoying the feel of her hands on me.

" I think I'm falling for you too." She whispered.