denial

sadness

             sadness; the condition or quality
             of being sad.

"nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna
take me down."

charlotte:

the friend group was interesting. when we went to the movies together before the school year officially started, nathan and luke were buddied up, lily would stop talking to me for claire, ryan and noah were always talking together, which left me alone. ryan would always notice and sort of try and get me included in him and noah's conversation, but i never really did. i'd say "thanks, but i'm just watching the movie, i appreciate it though." and he'd leave me be even though he knew i was upset.

the school year started and immediately noah and luke started treating me differently. we were in the same physical education class. i was put into a trio group by the teacher with them and i, which i was excited for, but every time it was my turn to get the ball from in front of luke, he'd kick it so i'd have to run to it, pick it up, and then start, which delayed the whole class. i tended to ignore it but things kept getting worse. they'd say mean things to me or about me to others and it really stressed me out. nathan stopped talking to me a lot, and lily was my only sense of comfort.

lily convinced me to do cross country with her, so we got extra time together as we were adjusting our hangouts after school. it started getting difficult to hangout all the time because there was way more homework and the people were already draining her and i socially. but we'd still text throughout the nights.

me and ryan got super close and soon enough he and lily were my best friends. or at least ryan was a close close friend. i didn't like him romantically but i never knew he did at the beginning of the year.

by november, lily and luke were getting super close so i gave her a warning about how he was. i'd told her about how noah and him treated me, and she knew it never had stopped. noah was so nice to me and then just always seemed annoyed with me all of the sudden. even on my birthday. luke was a little bitter when he wished me happy birthday, but i always had lily.

by december, luke and lily were officially 'talking'. not dating, but flirting, and if anyone asked if the were single, they'd still technically say yes. it grossed me out but i didn't totally mind at first because she was happy.

i didn't super mind until one day when in front of everyone except ryan but including her, he said the worst things anyone had ever said to me. calling me i think every name he could until noah added that i was super annoying and i couldn't take it. i left the call and cried for over three hours. i wondered how they could do that to me.

authors note: sorry again if there's mistakes! along with the first chapter, i wrote this one at 1am <3 also i apologize if the first two chapters were a little boring, i didn't really have a plot planned at first😭