It's been months now and all me and Jasmine had been living in my car and in motels, ever since my mom found out about Jasmine. In her eyes Jasmine was a prostitue, an HIV infested person. My mom, your typical old fashioned lady, didn't approve of her even if she was ready for a change. She kicked me out and through my things away on the street. My sister has been wiring me cash ever since. I had no news from Piper or Katerina, and my sister wouldn't even speak to me about that topic. I didn't even know where Carolyn had been buried, I couldn't even say goodbye to her.
"This, this isn't a life Vic." Jasmine said opening a bag of microwaveable soup.
"I know... It seems that Carolyn's death just made everything tumble down in everyone's life." I had nightmares about her. I couldn't sleep or eat well since she was gone. I felt urge to visit her grave, but that was impossible, but the thing that hurt me the most was that she hasn't forgiven me before she passed away, and that would haunt me forever.
"Hey babe, come eat.." She said, how was Jasmine still with me? Most importantly, why?
"I'm not hungry, you go ahead and eat." She folded her arms. She would always argue with me if I didn't eat. I avoided the argument and walked outside. The air hit my face and with it a flood of memories came along.
A year ago things were so different, everything was perfect you could say. I had a job, a family who I cared so much about and the girl of my dreams. She had beautiful brown eyes and s perfect smile that could brighten the worst of moods up. Her long and black hair would flow while the air would caress it. Her laugh was a beautiful melody to my ears and her love, her love was all that you needed to survive. Carolyn. I messed up so bad. I looked back on the day I met her, there she was, in the back of Pipers tuck playing her guitar. She was singing and when I heard her voice, I felt chills all over my skin. When her eyes met mine, I saw a light in her eyes, she smiled and looked away, she kept playing her guitar but stopped singing. Piper, who saw me staring at Carolyn instantly noticed that there was chemistry between me and her. I remember Piper introducing us, I remember everything so clearly, as if it had just happened a few minutes ago, Carolyn was wearing black skinnys, and vans, she had a shirt with a band on it. She was wearing a few bracelets. She wasn't my type, but she was perfect. We spent the entire day together with Piper and Katerina, we got to know each other more and we really clicked. The night that she was heading back to town she was taking the bus, 3 hour ride. I offers to take her, and after a long argument with her, she accepted. We drove, and it seemed like we were about to get lost in the beautiful night sky. That's a day ill never forget. From then on, every time she would visit Terrence, I would always find a way to see her. A few weeks later, I finally had the courage to kiss her. To call her mine. Those months that me and her were together were the best months of my existence. I realize now that I still love her.
But she's gone. She's 6 feet under, and it's all my fault.
"Vic!" I heard Jasmine call out from the window of the motel room.
"What!?" I want in the mood.
"I've been calling you like a hundred times already! I'm bored!"
"What? What do you want me to do?" I honestly didn't have a mind for anything except the fact that I had realized too late that my feelings were true.
"Come in here baby." Her voice went from a psychopath to a sweet and loving woman.
"Carolyn...I really miss you love." I whispered to the sky. I went into the room where Jasmine had been waiting, she grabbed me and kissed me. I felt guilt fill my body, I pushed her off, she looked at me with a confused expression.
"What's wrong?" She said grabbing my arm. "Don't you desire me anymore?"
I looked at her, I realized the only reason I had stayed with her for so long was because of her resemblance to Carolyn. Her long brown hair that flowed with her body, her big lioness eyes. What was I doing?
"Vic..? What is wrong with you?" She said shaking me. "We need to go back to your family... You need to go back."
"No. I don't, I won't go back to them." The thought of seeing everything that once had been so perfect, destroyed, it scared me. I was afraid to see Piper, Katerina, my family.
"I'm fine Ca-" I stopped myself. I almost called Jasmine Carolyn. "Can we just continue..?" I needed to feel something, anything.
She nodded, she pressed her lips against mine and I let myself fall into her arms.
