I smiled at his last text. I hated how he reminded me of Vic. I sat down next to my mothers chair. My aunt had flown back to her home after realizing i was okay living alone. No one had sat in my moms chair since i had gotten out of the hospital, I had scolded one of my little cousins for almost ruining it. I felt that my moms essence was still there, i would always sit next to her when i was younger and she would comfort me. She always warned me about men, about how they only wanted you for one thing. That first they made you fall in love and then they take away your innocence and just leave you after they get it. Victor had proved her right and so had my father. Micael, was he really different? I felt torn apart by it. Victor was my past, and now Micael was here in my present. I knew although that one day my past would come back and id be put face to face with it, i wasn't wrong either. After Micael left, I cleaned up and headed to Terrence, I had sent Piper dozens of messages and i had even called her but her phone was disconnected. I drove to her house and got out to knock. No one was home. I drove back and on my way i passed the baseball field. What had happened to Rebbecca? I knew my mother had gone to court and done all that stuff already but what was now of Rebbecca?
I drove home and sat down it was almost 7pm and I turned on my IPod and connected it to the raidio. I played some Linkin Park and started to sing along
Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal. Fear is how i fall, confusing what is real....
Tears started rolling down my face and i kept singing along. It seemed to me that now all I had left was music and my old sketchbook. I had lost my mother, and my best friend hated me because a guy was interested in me. I looked to the little set of statues of gods that my mom had always taken and cherished since i can remember. I walked to it, her picture was there and a sudden jolt of pain and sadness filled my chest. I fell on my knees and began to cry thinking why me! why did you take her! you knew she was the only one i had! she was my everything! i cant take this.
"I'm not strong enough! I'm no-" I couldn't breathe, i started pounding on the ground. Tears kept falling and dying at my lips. Give her back was all I could think. I couldn't accept the fact that she was gone. I couldn't just forget her. My mother, my life.. it had all just been ripped from me. I needed release, I got up and stumbled to the kitchen. I grabbed a large knife. If you wont give her back to me...Ill go to her! I dragged the large knife across my arm. I saw the red blood flow down my wrist and I saw it hit the ground. I sat on the flood and looked up I began to feel faint. No one would see this coming. No one knew what I was hiding behind my smiles and my I'm fine, or I'm just tired excuse.
