In A Time of War: An imperial Love Prequel (1)

Epilogue

New Hampshire, 1929

John was trying to find himself recovering, but he somehow couldn't. He lost some movement in his leg, and found himself using a crutch to help him move properly. He promised himself that he would be safe for his two sons, Gavin who was eleven, and Peter who had just turned seven, he felt bad, he felt as he failed his two sons, he failed Violet, who was still with him and he didn't know why she was still with him. He considered himself lucky. Lucky that she still hadn't given up on him.

He watched as his two boys, played with the planes that were outside. The toy planes and pretending that they were fighting the Germans. Gavin was taking the lead, and John may have been drinking hard, but he could tell that Gavin was going to be an incredible leader. In the Military, and in life, he was definitely going to fight and be strong. John didn't see much with Peter, and he couldn't understand why. Maybe it was because he was only seven. 

 But he wanted to get to know him more and wanted to think about how his sons were going to grow up. But it was clear that being a fighter pilot for both of them was going to be in the running. 

Violet was cleaning up and cooking for the boys and saw that John was looking out the window and looked over at John. She hated that she had to see him suffer the way she did, and she didn't know how she was going to help him.

"They're going to grow up to be really great men." Violet said, "Gavin is starting to understand how being a fighter pilot works, and Peter is a really smart boy for his age. He is saying a lot of long words." 

John started to drink even more, and Violet hated seeing him drinking. She saw the empty brandy, and the empty rum on the kitchen counter and she sighed, and looked at him heartbroken. She didn't know how she was going to help him. It almost seemed hopeless.  His trauma was growing to be worse, with sounds of a teapot boiling, or the littlest noise of a door opening had him screaming. Violet didn't think shell shock would get to him this bad, but she wasn't going to leave him no matter what, because she wanted him to have the best relationship with his two sons. 

She was going to stay by his side in all of this.

Even if it took a thousand years. 

Violet watched as her two boys were playing with their toy planes, she watched as her boys were getting along well. She was happy to see her boys happy playing together, it was also a bit of relief. Relief to know that they were interested in the same things, and relieved to know that they weren't going to argue. They did have a few bickering moments but it wasn't anything too crazy.

"Boys come inside." Violet called out, "Gavin. Peter."

Gavin and Peter came running inside, but Gavin picked up Peter and brought him inside. Gavin opened the door, and Violet watched as Peter was laughing as he was in his big brother's arms. 

"Peter is he bugging you?" Violet asked,

"No." Peter answered holding on to Gavin for dear life.

"Sit down. I made Shepherds Pie." Violet said as she gave Gavin and Peter a seat so the two of them could sit down together. 

 Violet watched as the boys were horsing around together, getting along like typical brothers.

John was still in his own world. Violet was trying her best to get his attention, but he wasn't listening to a word she was saying. 

"John..." Violet said, "Are you hungry?"

John was still not listening, but Violet looked over and saw that Gavin and Peter were joking around fighting, making airplane noises for a starter, and then the two of them were making bomb noises, which then finally got the attention of John as Peter made the final bomb noise.

Which had John screaming, covering his ears begging for it all to stop. Violet looked over at Gavin and Peter, and tried to get them to remain quiet. But neither one of them listened, especially Peter. 

"Peter..." Violet said concerned for John, "You and Gavin can just eat please, when you're done go outside."

Gavin was only eleven, but he understood how war could affect a man. For a kid, Gavin could understand how the war affected his father, he couldn't imagine the things that his father had seen. It made him not want to go out and fight, but he still wanted to continue with the family name and become a combat pilot.

Gavin had hopes and dreams to become a hero, and he didn't care about all of the circumstances. And Peter still didn't know what he wanted to do yet, he was only seven, and it seemed like he was happy doing whatever Gavin was doing. 

"Gavin..." Violet said, "Can you and Peter go into your room?" 

Violet could see as John was drinking more and as his drink was empty, he threw his glass across the room, resulting in his glass hitting the window. Violet couldn't believe that John was suffering, most days he wasn't like that, and most days he was sweet and loving, but that day had John hurting.  Hurting more than before. He didn't ever find out where the rest of his friends were, and he didn't go back to the military and never recovered properly.  Perhaps maybe that was something that broke Violet's heart. She wanted her boys to see her husband be a good father to their children, and she didn't know that he was ever going to be in their son's lives. 

 She looked over at John and she could tell that he was disappointed, and was heartbroken on how he scared his sons, but he didn't know why he was acting the way he was. He couldn't understand. But Violet did. She understood more than anyone.

"Gavin..." Violet said, "Can you and Peter go into your room?"

"Yes..." Gavin responded taking Peter out from the chair and taking his hand to bring him into Gavin's room. Gavin and Peter walked away and Violet watched as they went off. She looked over at John, and she could tell that he was distressed. She didn't know how to help him.

But she wanted him to be happy.

But he has seen so much in the war.

And he was never going to be the same again.

"Is there anything I can do to help you?" Violet asked as she walked over to him,

"Just stay with me." John said, "Please...bare with me." 

"Of course I will." Violet said, "I can tell you're trying to be the best father you can be, and I know things are hard," 

"You have to promise you won't leave my side." John said, Violet looked at the desperation on his face, and she knew that he was trying to become a good father for his children. He wanted to watch them grow up, and he wanted to watch them do amazing things. He wanted to be at both of the boys' weddings, the birth of their children.

All of it.

But he didn't know what he was going to live through.