Closer than you think

Chapter 22

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Chapter dedicated to @weird_weirdette thanks love<3

Also if I don't update fort he next two weeks please understand that I have exams:/ but to make a deal with you guys if you get me 520 votes in total on this story( 40votes left) and 120 comments(11 comments left) then I will give you a double update!!!

So get voting and commenting!! This applies to any chapter<3
Please pray for me to pass as well :* especially English since my teacher is in her own world!!!
Thank you and love you all Xx

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Amiyas Pov

"I don't want you to save me I want you to stand by me whilst I save myself. The question is will you?"

My heart broke for the boy that was crumbling in front of me. I was such a jerk. I could tell it wasn't easy to letting all of that go. I shouldn't have been that hard on him. My pro Jordan side had won me over. It was telling me I told you so over and over again. What was I supposed to tell somebody who just stripped down all their emotions right in front of me.

He was staring at me nervously. I could tell he was anticipating my answer. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way and knew I had to think carefully about what was a going to leave my mouth. My tears had stopped at this point not because my emotions had died down but because they had ran out. He's still hadn't fallen. They just stayed at the rim of his shining emeralds. I finally decided to speak up. I needed to let it pour out instead of over thinking it. I held my hand out to place it over his.

" Jordan listen to me. Yes you are broken but that doesn't mean you should bottle it all up. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You are strong because you have been weak and you are fearless because you have been afraid. You need to understand that. Everybody is broken inside in different ways but what makes us all unique is the way we bounce of the ground. I'm just not sure that I'm the solution to all of this. I barely know what to say now. I am so flattered that you think I am your rock but I might just be a phase. What if you sit a week and decide that I am actually not what you needed. What if I am not your medicine." I couldn't let him fully rely on me. What if I break him even more than he already is. I can't take on such a big responsibility. I'm not even that experienced in relationships. I've only been in one and that didn't even turn out to be real.

What if my reasons are selfish though? What if I'm trying to make up excuses to run away from this? He needs to assure me that he's not just saying this from desperation of the moment but means it and still will in the long run.

"Your right. You aren't my medicine," my heart sort of dropped. "Your my drug. My heroine. When you take drugs for the first time you feel strange and promise to stay away but I can't. That's how it is with you. I can't let you go. I don't know what it is but I just can't. I know that I'm selfish but I'd rather be selfish than lose you. Sometimes you need to accept the truth and stop wasting time with the wrong people. " My heart fluttered at this.

"Jordan I..I..." He pressed his finger on my lips and moved closer to me. My whole body relaxed at his touch.

"Shh I'm not done. Nathan wasn't right for you. I can't guarantee that I am, but the only way to find out is if you give me a chance. I know that I come with all this extra baggage but I have never felt like this about anyone. I just can't put into words how different you make me feel. I thought I was the only one who had these feels going through them but when I saw you at my door I was shocked. Shocked that you left him and came to me. I still wasn't sure at that time but when you told me earlier that you wish you were more it made me realize something. It confirmed the feeling that I was trying to push back. These feeling are completely new to me. I've just never done the love thing before that's why I freaked. When I told you we were not dating I felt terrible because I'd like nothing more than giving it a chance. Giving us a chance."

My tears wanted to reemerge. I've heard before that It is easy to take your clothes of and be naked in front of the person you are having sex with but that's not the true definition of being naked. To be naked is to sit and srtip yourself of all your secrets. To reveal your soul and not the perfect angel that you show people but the one that's possessed. I wanted us to happen but there were so many things that we had to take into consideration. This wasn't a story book. We both led completely separate lives.

"Jordan I have never felt like this with anyone either. Not even Nathan. What I had with Nathan wasn't real and I discovered that really late. You helped me know the difference between the truth and hopes. I really do want to be with you. I would agree to that a million times but I have so many questions..." Before I could finish he crashed his lips into mine.

It wasn't out of lust but love. The taste of his soft lips was building a fire in the never ending pit inside my stomach. He pulled away first. Way sooner than I wanted him to leaving me breathless and wanting more.

"I don't care how many questions you have. I will answer each one. As long as you are giving me a chance."

When we are both seated in our original seats I knew I needed to ask him the question that's been lingering on my mind the whole time. I don't do long-distance. My mind isn't strong enough to handle all that. I like to see my boyfriend. Yes, I am the insecure type.

"Jordan. I really don't want to ruin the moment but...I don't do long distance relationships. How is this going to work." He gave me a kiddish grin.

"I was waiting for you to ask that. Well I just want to show you how far I am willing to go for you even if it means going overseas. If you want...I mean if it makes you feel more comfortable that is."

"OMG seriously!!" I was bursting with joy. My emotions have been bouncing like a yoyo today and it is skyrocket high right now.

"I would go to space and back for you, don't be surprised. Speaking of surprises I really didn't think you were going to stay so I didn't think I would use this one but I have a day planned out for us at disney land today." I was reeling with joy but I had something else in mind.

"As much fun as that sounds can we please go tomorrow. I'm feeling sort of overwhelmed today."

"Anything love. I'll give them a call. Now lets eat up before the chef thinks we are insulting his food."

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Hay love x You see that star? You know you want to click it and tell me what you think...:) Why do you think Amiya turned down disneyland?

Love you Xx