Scandalous Love

17. | Riley

"See you in an hour then?" Axel asks as he held onto my hand a few minutes after the 'meeting' Dad had called on for us all to talk about.

I breathe in, pinning my lips together before slowly nodding. I hated having to pretend I was into him when I wasn't.

Dad was supposed to be giving me a choice. I'm meant to be able to choose who I want to settle down with by the time I'm eighteen but this is far from choosing.

I cringe, letting the moment pass when Axel leans down to press a light kiss to my cheek before turning to leave.

I hated this feeling. The last thing I wanted was to hurt James in the process of all of this but how am I supposed to handle this situation when everything's being set out for me and I hardly have a say?

Axel leaves with his parents, Martha and Harry. Once the three of them are gone, it leaves just Emily, Ava, Dad and I but while Ava and Em were busy discussing her and Dad's wedding planning details, I walk over to my father and cross my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

"Dad, we need to talk," I tell him in the most confident and bold voice I could muster. He looks up away from the letter he held in his hand and faces me but with an aggravated look.

"What's up now, darling?" he asks but I knew he was forcing it. All of him was forcing it. In reality, I was far from a 'darling' in his eyes. I was just the person who constantly stressed him out.

"This wasn't part of our agreement," I tell him.

He was looking past me now, barely listening to me because he was trying to gain Ava's attention and all it does is make me huff, tensing up all the more.

"Babe, you wouldn't mind going to talk to Matteo about the food and all, would you? To make sure everything is okay for catering for the wedding," he says to her, making me feel sick to my stomach. He didn't even care about what I had to say and he was pretty good at showing it.

"Dad," I growl. I nudge his shoulder, enough to force him to turn around and look at me, and when he does he frowns.

"What, Riley?"

"Can you just listen to me for two seconds? It's like you don't even care about me."

"What are you talking about? Of course I care about you," he says, only to look away from me again and look over at Nana. "Nancy, please would you mind arranging the bedsheets for tonight. The girls are having another one of their sleepovers," he tells her.

Nana nods her head, giving me a subtle apologetic look but she wasn't the one who needed to be apologising. She wasn't the one who somehow made me get angrier with them each day in and out.

"Right, what's the problem, Ri?" he asks for the third time, finally looking me directly in the eyes again and I scoff.

"I don't like Axel, Dad! You told me I had a year to figure out who I want to settle down with by the time it's my eighteenth birthday but that's not what you're doing! You're forcing Axel onto me and I hate him. He's almost like Ezra, Dad," I whisper, lowering my tone and looking towards the ground.

Dad knew all about Ezra. A lot of people knew all about him, or at least I thought so...

"What's wrong with that? Ezra was a lovely boy, Riley," he tells me and I look at him in disgust.

He couldn't even remember all the things Ezra had done to me, all the things he had said to me. A father is supposed to care and look out for those kinds of things but Dad's so distracted with his own lifestyle that he can barely even recall it.

I stare at him, open-mouthed. "You know what? It doesn't matter anymore. You'd never understand anyway," I mumble under my breath.

I turn to walk away, not staying in that dining hall for another second longer and I go running past the kitchen, bathrooms and the staircase until I had reached the gardens outside the front of the mansion.

As soon as I'm met with the cool summer breeze, I breathe in and out again and slow my pace down, trying to calm myself down. It was things like this that really knew how to get on my nerves and I'm not sure how much longer I can play along with Dad's antics.

I stop, stood in the corner of the garden, still trying to control my breathing.

I wasn't someone with a quick temper, but people like Dad and Ava really did know how to push me. Just the reminder of Ezra is enough to trigger me.

The gentle feel of fingers lacing together with mine from behind slowly calms me down all the more but they stay silent, waiting for me to reach a stand-still completely.

He slowly moves from behind me, to my side, and then shortly in front of me before he pulls me in close to him and massages circles into my waist, the circular movements slow as he caressed me.

"Breathe," he whispers, moving forwards to rest his forehead against mine. "What's wrong, Ri? Talk to me," he says softly.

I close my eyes, listening to him but no words leave my lips. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I just couldn't. Talking to him about Axel would only confuse him.

It's James I want, not Axel, but I don't know how that's supposed to work out.

"I'm okay," I whisper as convincingly as I could. I look deep into his eyes and I shake my head, holding firmly onto his hands. "Do you have to head back to yours early tonight?" I ask, looking up at him.

His pupils circulate around mine before he raises an eyebrow. "Not exactly, why?"

He does the same thing he had done this morning, tucking my hair behind my ear after it had fallen in front of my face again. "Aren't you having another sleepover with the girls?"

"That's at night, J," I tell him, making him tilt his head sideways, not catching onto what I was trying to ask him. "Straight after Cotillion, can you meet me at our spot? There's... something I want to show you."

James had shown me all over his town these past couple days. It was only fair I gave him the same experience for this place too. Besides, it might just be enough to get my mind off of everything going on.

"Please?" I ask when he doesn't say anything, still contemplating it.

He chuckles lightly and slowly nods, even if he couldn't understand what was going on with me just yet.

"Of course, Ri," he answers, leaning down to connect our lips once more. "Just text me when you're ready, okay?"

"Okay."