Alleviate |billie eilish|

18. "Don't fucking leave me!"

TW
mentions of;
Drugs
Self harm

I smelled something i reconized instantly, it smelled like vinegar but it wasnt at all.

Max's pov--->

"MOM" Billie followed right behind me while i try to get into her room.

she locked her door

i ran into the door multiple times with my shoulder trying to break the lock.

"you have a hair pin" I asked billie in a rush. She shakes her head no while i run to my room looking through a box. i found a small screwdriver.

I ran back down starting to pick the lock. Once i got it open i went in quickly.

mom laid on the bed passed out with a needle still in her arm.

"mom wake up" I tapped her cheek a little bit. no reponse. I carefully slip gloves on that i found in the room removing the needle along with the strap that was around her arm.

"call 911" I yell at billie. I place my fingers on her neck checking for a paulse.

I guess health class came in handy.

nothing. no paulse. I began CPR to try to get her to come back.

"DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ME!" I yell at my mom with tears rolling down my face. A few minutes pass then the police an ambulance arrived taking my place.

"Max..." Billie looked at me. I ran into her arms instantly.

"I thought she stopped" I sobbed. Her hand rubbed agaisnt my back.

I feel small. Like a grain of sand on the large beach. no one will notice that little grain of sand.

"i'm sorry for your loss" I heard the perametic say.

"no, no, you have to do something!" I turned around screaming at them. One of them walked up to me.

"She's gone, Do you know what she had" i looked up at him with tears streaming down my face.

"heroin" I turned back to billie putting my head in the crook of her neck crying.

"it's going to be okay" She whispered in my ear. The whole day went like a blur.

it consist of crying, screaming, getting angry at myself, fighting the urge to cut, and then mostly being numb.

I sat in the passenger seat outside of mom's house watching everyone rushing in and out.

"i wanted to take her places, tell her about my life, tell her everything she missed" i watch them bring the strecher outside with her body on it.

Billie stayed silent. i got out of the car rushing over towards her.

"WAIT" I yell at them. They stop while i look down at her. I look at the ring she had on. "i can take this right" I point at her hands. They nod then i grab mom's ring.

I put it in my pocket then walked back to the car.

They covered mom up with a sheet taking her away.

"i think i want to walk" I look over at billie.

"can i walk with you"

"you'll get mobbed by your fans"

"i don't care, right now i'm only worried about you" I sigh getting out of the car. i pull my phone out looking for dad's contact.

i grab billie's hand for comfort as we walk. I click the call button then held it up to my ear letting out a shaky breath.