Alleviate |billie eilish|

27. get out

TW:
Alcohol
Suicide

max's pov--->

"Billie" my voice almost shaking. She turned her head to me disconnecting her and auroras make out session.

"Its no-" I cut billie off.

"both of you get out" my jaw clenched in anger and sadness.

"ma-" Billie tired again.

"OUT BOTH OF YOU. AURORA STAY OUT OF MY DAMN HOUSE" I scream at them. Aurora ran away like she did 6 years ago. Billie got up slowly trying to walk to me.

"max"

"Get out of my house billie" I down at her. I moved to the side with my door open. Her eyes glossed over, I really wanted to hug her, get anything for her not to cry but I didn't. I just stood there. Waiting.

She opened the front door.

"Billie" She turned around looking at me. "take this too" I pulled off the bunny ring and tossed it at her. I saw her heart shatter into pieces when I did that. She picked it up then left.

I sat on the new couch looking at the wall. I felt my eyes gloss over then tears poured out. With my sister?? Of anyone else, MY SISTER???? My tears came crashing down.

I don't have chip, he's probably with aurora. I don't want river at my house, she'll try to get me to fuck her. I have no one.

I swallow my sadness down grabbing my phone texting finneas.

Me
Hey fin can u bring me my skateboard outside when I get to ur moms

Fin boy
Sure ofc

Me
Thx :)

Glad he don't suspect shit yet. I grab my bag and begin walking. Then I start running, I got to their house in 10 minutes. When I walked up to the door I saw my board sitting on the porch. I grab it then start to head back to the road when the car I recognize so well pulls in.

I just look at the car emotionless. I get to the road then begin my journey to the drug store. I zip through traffic, using my hands to say if I'm turning so I don't get hit. Once I get there I shove my skateboard into my bag then walk in.

I look over the shelves. I grab some bandages for extra measures, and some simple living things. I get to the alcohol aisle looking at it all. I grab some bottles then take them up to the cashier.

"id" he sticks his hand out. I place it in his palm then he rings it up. "$61.28" I hand him cash then he gives me change. I put everything in my bag making me weigh a little more. Walking out I feel the cold breeze hit my face.

My hands glide over my board feeling the cravings on it then I place it on the ground. The click of when it hits the ground is just so, soothing. Worries go away, no sadness.

As I get home I notice a car in front of my house. I don't recognize it at all so I wait until it leaves. Sketchy shit. Unlocking the door I step in while the bottles clank together softly.

I set my bag on the kitchen counter pulling the bottles out. I shoved the 12 pack of beer in the fridge then grabbed the strong ass vodka I bought.

I take a swig sitting on the couch. I let my arm rest on the back of the couch while I man spread.

You were nothing to her. She just wanted your sister max. She didn't love you, everything was a lie. The speech she made at the Billboard? total fucking bullshit. She was just using you.

Those thoughts filled my head while I drank more. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I ignored it at first. It went off again and again. I take another swing while the burning sensation of when it went down disappeared.

Incoming call from: Finneas

"What" I kind of slurred.

"Max? Are you drunk?"

"hell yeah I am" I laugh at myself.

"For fuck sake, me and Claudia are coming over" I just laugh harder.

"No your not, let me destroy myself in peace" I finish the first bottle.

"You're not destroying yourself tonight max. You hear me?" His voice is angry and soft but I hear someone else in the backgroud.

I hang up on them walking to moms room. I look in her lock box finding stuff to smoke. I found a blunt then a lighter, lighting it up.

I lay on her bed just smoking everything away.

You are a bad girlfriend.

I continue to smoke when I hear a thud at the door. I don't move I just keep smoking away.

I heard shuffles around the house but still, didn't move. I watch the door open as I blow out the smoke.

"Max" I hear Claudia. I ignore her. I smoked the rest of it away, getting annoyed I grab another one. Claudia walks up to me snatching it out of my hands.

"claud don't be a ass. Let me waste away" I try to grab it but she backs away. Finneas walks in a small time later.

"your coming with us, if you like it or not" finneas said sternly. I laugh at him.

"lemme go take a piss first" I get up walking past them. I get to the bathroom looking through the cabinet. If I can't waste away I might as well end it. I find a razor under something. I look at myself in the mirror.

So many scares, so much pain, so much sadness. Can all go away with one. Little. Piece. Of. Metal.

I sit on the edge of the tub, lifting my arm to lay in my leg.

"Goodbye world. Hey mom" I tell myself then out the razor on my arm. I press down hard letting it go in deep. I hear a bang on the door. I just looked at it while my vision got a little blurry.

"tell billie, I still love her and thanks for everything" I yell at the door then go deeper.

Skin cuts like paper with a razor. Blood oozes out like water.

I almost pass out when the door finally opens and they run inside. That's the last thing I remember when I black out.

. . .

I wake up in the hospital, wrist covered in bandages, dried up blood. My old clothes at the end of the bed stained with blood.

"she's awake" I hear a male voice. I hear feet shuffle then hear doors open and close.

"I thought I would see mom" I mumbled. I felt the tear slip go down my cheek. I felt a hand on my face rubbing it away.

"billie?" I just look at her. She looks tired, energy drained, her eyes are puffy and red.

"Oh max" She began crying.

"Why are you crying? I thought you didn't care" My face is still emotionless. She just looks in my eyes speechless. Her eye brow twitches and she looks away.

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