I'm Vic Criss and my life sucks...

7

We are the 4th of february. I'm still in couple with Peter and honestly it isn't that bad, i mean i still don't love him romantically but  i've growned comfy with him. We've set boundaries between us and all of that, we go on dates and it doesn't feel like when i was with Greta at all. I feel loved like i haven't felt in a while so i guess it's nice but since everything's fine i feel really guilty letting him believe i love him when it's not like that but i'll still continue for now since he seems do be happy and I'm really fine with it for now.
It's a saturday and i'm just home, i don't have any plans and i'm just in my pyjamas going downstairs every now and then to drink some apple juice in a glass, ( I'm not an animal). I think it's around 11 am. Oh wait I just checked and in fact it's 12.30 so might as well go downstairs and find something to eat. I'm getting to my fridge and look inside of it, there not much that doesn't need to be cooked so I'm going with leftover plain pasta...yummy. I just microwave the whole thing and go seat on the couch when it's done. To be honest I do feel like I should talk to someone about how I feel because even if I play around to get what I want, for now it's not getting me anywhere and I'm just playing with what others want. I'm a plain pasta eating piece of shit... I mean if Greta or Peter had zero problem asking me out ( forcibly or not) i could build up courage and talk to Belch about how I feel about him. But no instead i make some weird ass plan i can't get myself out of because I don't hate it but it's not what I want. I've imagined cuddling with Reg while being with Peter I'm doing things wrong and I can't fucking stop.
Wow those pasta really bring out something in me, I've already finished the plate and I'm heading for a cigarette , I'm stressing myself over nothing it's not as if it was life threatening but still I've been a complete ass for something like 4 month ?? I can't keep going out of comfyness but i can't just break up with him without any warning. And even if I did I'm pretty sure Reg would also think I'm an ass from starting it and just fucking off when it's too much to handle. ( And that Peter motherfucker doesn't bring me shit, like i went in for the money and I get dates and milkshakes...)
Yup that pasta intervention made up my mind I need to slowly hint that soon it's back to alone jail and that I'm leaving to new horizons !! Man what if he cries when I tell him , shit that'd be dramatic, i mean it's only been 4 months ( funny how i have no ideas when this all mess started) he can't be THAT hurt, yeah he'll get over it. Maybe I should watch a movie to make me feel better( forget about the cigarettes, too cold outside and I'm wearing shorts). I put the DVD in the tv and to be honest I'm not sure of the plot, all that i understood is that the bomb exploded..We-
*Ding Dong*
I didn't order anything, maybe it's for my mom... Her and her stupid téléshopping or whatever it is. I go to open the door and what a surprise to fine our jolly Pete right in front of it. ( Why is he in every chapter recently??!?)
- Hey babe what do you want ?
Yeah, you could say that I got the hang of relationships by now .!.!.!
- Hi i just wanted to see you, and- wait Vic it's 1 Pm why are still pyjama's ?
WOW It is SUCH a shame, it's not like i'm living in a swamp Peterrina ,chill !!
- What it's the weekend I'm not gonna use my clean clothes to eat cereals all day !!
And also don't tell me what to do you won't be my boyfriend soon enough !( Normally.)
- Anyway, can I come in, i just missed you...
I saw you yesterday. Chill. Seriously.
-...and maybe would chill or sum ?
That's not what I meant... And I'm not feeling sex right now I'm feeling bloated from pasta, i can't be sexy and trash in the same day. But i can't just tell him to go home so I guess he'll find something else to do.
- Oh yeah, yeah come in.
He closes the door and boom !! Straight up arms around my neck ready to have some serious action. I shit you not the Gordon's sex drive is higher than Mars. No wonder he's such a good kisser, he probably trained in his all life of sin !!! Who am I kidding I trained to kiss too when I was 13.
So since I made clear that he wasn't getting dick he just laid down on his stomach on me and while I was playing with his hair, that's the kind of comfort i was talking about ! We watched another movie when suddenly i was in the middle of Central Park with a bomb that was about to explode !! But i had a choice to make: either save my pet rabbit or Peter, i didn't even think and went to save my boyfriend but then the bomb exploded and I died but i heard a woman's voice calling me.
- Victor !!
Yeah so basically i fell asleep and my mom was waking me up. Also i don't have a bunny , no idea where that comes from.
- Yeah ??
I don't even bother saying hi, after all i don't want to see her...
- Victor Nathan Criss can you explain to me why you are cuddling with another MAN on our family couch ??
Did she just call Peter a man ? That so out of place, like i turn my head and he looks so scared and petrified, but he shouldn't be i know how to persuade my mother that I'm her perfectly straight hetero son:
- Holy hell ,that happened?? I don't know i fell asleep during the movie, Peter came around to get some homework he missed on and we watched a movie, nothing more!!
Keep in mind that I'm forcing myself not to do a "little lad" voice because this scenario is cheesy and ridiculous bit. Hey it passes like a letter in the mail!
Looking at her face she doesn't seems really convinced but at least that'll shut her up...I get upstairs and tell Peter to follow me. Usually we go to his house to hang out but this'll do i mean, he's not gonna think I'm poor is he ? Or live like a homeless guy...He wouldn't be wrong but still it's a shame !
As soon as we're in my room he's all over me again, we're on my bed but he is looking around.
- So how do you feel about my room ?
- It's real cozy i like the light and stuff...
I don't think he cares about what my room looks like. He puts his head on my neck, his curly hair is super warm and- holy cow there's hands under shirt!
- Pete c'mon my mom just almost got upset i can't risk it.
He complains and mumbles 'bout it, i understand why he's frustrated, i've been refusin sex from him from the the beginning but it's not like he's entitled to it and to be honest i just don't feel ready for that kinda stuff with anyone even without those circumstances. Yeah i know it sounds weird that i'm a virgin given my « status » but i 1) never got the opportunity with a guy for obvious reasons. 2) i'm a bit scared of making that step.
So we just kinda cuddle there for how long it lasts and than he just goes home and i'm still his boyfriend. I swear next time i won't talk about him i need a mental break...