I'm Vic Criss and my life sucks...

11

Monday morning. I'm all alone. Alone. Alone....alone. i don't talk to anybody in class. No one gets near me. And lunch is shit ! Not that that has to do with anything else but for real, what is that ? I'm not touching any of it... I sit at an empty table, you guessed it ! Alone again. I miss him, terribly. We haven't spoken in a week and he's right in front of me too. With god damn Sally. Ugh I want her dead right now. If stares could throw knives she would be. I know there's no point in acting like a child. If he's happier with her than good for him, i mean, he's the reasonable one he probably knows what he's doing, right ? Maybe I'm the problem. I run away from everyone because I can't handle being wrong and then i blame it on something else. My stomach hurts. I should go apologize to him. I overreacted completely. Yeah, it's my fault. I'm the one in love with him, therefore I'm in the wrong. Does it make sense ? No, not really but getting things back to normal between us would be nice. I want my bestfriend back even it it's just as a friend. I can't stand life without him. Alright, I'm 'bout to get up and go ! I'm read-
-Hey, Vic you're not with Belch ?
Holy fuck ! It's Henry, he scared me to death.
- No we, we fought.
- Wanna go smoke behind the school, I've got Malboro's.
Sure why not. Who was i kidding, everyone here knew i didn't have the balls to go talk to him. I'm such a pussy... I pass next to his table and hear them talking since they haven't noticed me.
- C'mon Reg, you're not gonna be so sad all week! We're just teens you know, and Victor doesn't seem like a -
I can't hear any longer with the sound of the kids in the cafeteria. But it doesn't seem positive. And he's shaking his head yes. I'm gonna go dig a hole for my grave if that's alright. Once behind the school the cool air brushes my face. It's still super cold but i don't mind as much. I don't care about a lot these days.
Henry gives me a cig and lights it. I haven't smoked in a while. It feels nice. I know it's bad but I'm just an occasional smoker. I'm not addicted. I can stop whenever! But not now. I need to relax right now, to breathe and just let everything go for an instant and just focus on the smoke, you know. Henry is staring at me weirdly, he's investigating my soul or some fucked up shit he's capable of. He stops and looks up at the sky, pulling on his cig.
- Vic, what's up with Belch ?
- Why do we keep calling him like that ?
He jumps up a bit. It's a real question. I mean we've never stopped calling him Belch but he hasn't done anything of the sort for years and even if he doesn't like his real name, understandably, we could have found something more indearing.
- Because we always did.
- Yeah but we could have changed it, it's not relevant anymore.
- Oh shut up Vic, why's everything so hard with you ?
- I don't know man.
- So what's up with Reginald, Victor ?
And he's putting me in one of the worst fucking situations of my god forsaken life. Ugh, sometimes being alone is truly better than being with Henry. And that ! "What's up ?" Hell if i know !
- I just learned that he has a girlfriend, and they've been together for a while now.
He gives that look, this, extremely confused and uptaken face he does when something doesn't seem logic to him.
- Yeah... And ? I thought you said you weren't gay.
-Well, yeah, he could've told me. All this time he just didn't. Yeah and also she fucking hates me.
- It's still fucking gay...
-I know.
Of course it's gay, asshole. It's obvious how can you even believe that i could be anything but gay ! Probably because i've told him so. I'm so tired of hiding and lying.
- Hey you're listening fag ?
-Yeah yeah.
- Agreeing on it, damn.
Huh ?
-Yeah.
Why is he angry what did i say ?
- So you are ! Bitch i'm going to kill you ! You know what with all that lying and ass fucking, you deserve to be put in yo place in front of everyone...
Holy shit that was fast ! Talking about jumping to conclusions. Im even lucky he's not trying to punch me right now.
-... main hall, 3pm. You're going to regret being a sissy Vic. And you better stay away from all my friends, i don't want you spreading yo shit around.
Damn, even more alone. I won't dare to disobey mr.Henry's instructions ! Seriously it would be dangerous he could fight with his knife or something. Really he's capable of it you know. So... i guess i should go back to class by now, waiting for my doom while listening to my english class. Fantastic.
The hours go by and i'm starting to shit myself because, i know how to fight ! That's not a problem but Henry can be rootless, even if i'm faster if he's really mad he could go fury mode and snap my neck.
Apparently the rumor that we were going to fight passed through the school since i hear all those whispers everywhere i go. Peter's walks towards me with a terrible look on his face, like he saw a ghost, i don't know what he wants and i'm not sure i want to know.
- Vic, Victor, please don't fight him i'm sorry i...
He looks around and starts whispering.
-... I'm so sorry i broke up with you, i don't want you to get killed man, c'mon can't we just skip class and go to my house and just forget about what happened ?
Is he fucking kidding me ?! I'll remain calm but fuck even when i'm in danger he makes all about him! Ugh... i'm not crawling back.
- No Peter. I'll fight for my dignity, thanks. And i don't want to talk to you anymore. We broke up and that's it, goodbye Peter. You can come see me fight if you want.
I just leave i've had enough bullshit for today. Just an hour before the fight.
I'm fucking ready.