I'm Vic Criss and my life sucks...

10

- You're a virgin ?
- Yeah.
Yes i know i cut you halfway through, you're mad, you've been waiting but hey i needed a break in the live writing of my life ( Well to be honest you guys are kind of a parrot on my shoulder i tell everything i think to , it's a weird concept, not sure i get it myself. It works more like drama play than anything else really but I'm the only one with apartés ). Because you complaining bunch are not the ones going through this so i'll stop talking to you and go back to my personal hell if you will.
- So you've never had sex ?
- No, never, i've never done that.
At least he's not laughing at my face but there's a vague silence like he just didn't understood a single thing i just said.
- Wait, so with all the girls that liked you a while back, you banged none of them. I didn't know you realized you were gay so long ago...
- No, no i've figured that out a couple months back not before, honestly i've never felt like doing it. Maybe it was because they're were girls but y'know even with Peter i didn't want to do anything of the sort.
But i've felt sexual attraction before, but that i won't tell him since well i kind of was for him. But it's different y'know, he's close and it's comforting like i wouldn't be scared to do stuff with him because... I don't know how to explain it. It's complicated and i don't get it.
- So, maybe you just don't like sex y'knoww
- No, no. It's not like that. Not completely. I dunno I'm sad it ain't the time to try and crack the code man.
-It can't be that complex...
Well it isn't simple. If i don't get it and he doesn't either we're just gonna stare at each other until either one of us, probably me, gives up anyway so might as well stop right there.
And if it is i would have probably figured it out by now, i mean in less than a year i feel like I've been hit by truck of information about myself.
-...and whatever you do Vic-
Someone knocking at the door ! Fucking wonderful !! I don't have to talk about my sorry self anymore and he forgets about it! Just what was necessary.
Damn. He's taking his time downstairs, i should probably check what's up, it isn't usual to have someone at your door step at 8pm. Going down the stairs i hear them talking, sounds like a girl but she seems pretty insistent about getting in. Weird. It's Sally Mueller, Greta's pet, what is she doing here wanting to get inside ? I'm not showing myself just yet i want to know what's going on.
-C'mon Sally, i know what I said but right now i can't.
- Oh please, you promised we'd have a movie night !
- Yeah i know, but right now Vic is here and, it's complicated...
Oh my god. What is happening i am going insane ?
-... But i can't throw him out, and even if i did, which I'm not going to do, I'd feel guilty and we wouldn't have a good night anyway, so it's useless.
-So it's about Vic again?...
She shrugs like I'm the worst of humanity combined.
-...Everytime we do something it's always "  Vic this" and " Vic that", if Victor is SO important to you maybe you should go date him instead of me !
I can't fucking believe it, he has a girlfriend. A real girl. That exist. I am paralyzed, i feel like throwing up but i can't move.
- No Sally please, it's fine. I'll make it work. I'm gonna talk to him,just sit on the couch alright. And you can pick the movie while you're at it.
Now i just want to run away. All this time i thought it was just complicated because of me but now. It's helpless. He's walking up the stairs until he's right in front of me.
-Vic ?
- I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
- Oh, yeah, i'm really sorry I didn't tell you anything about her, it's just, you were caught up with Greta so i didn't want to put Sally in the middle of that.
I'm angry, i know i shouldn't be so pissed but i can't help myself. He lied to me. My bestfriend. The person i would have gave up anything for. I feel betrayed. But i stay calm. Like before a storm.
- No it's fine...
The tears in the corner of my eyes itch before slowly rolling down my stupid face.
-...I just thought you were my bestfriend who wouldn't lie to me, and try to get me out of the way.
- Vic it's not that-
-Oh Yeah ?! Because it looks like it, Goodbye Huggins, Goodbye.
I just leave. There's not point in staying, i wouldn't want to disturb their precious movie night with my terrible presence !
It's raining. Great ! I could catch the last bus but i'm not risking anybody seeing me like this. Under the rain i can just pretend I'm high. I'd light a cig if i had one, to cool me down. The rain is nice but dang it's cold, i never realized how far my house was from his. Not that it matters anymore. Fuck i hate every thing in this god damn world. And what i am going to do now, huh ?  Go back to Henry and lick his boots again ? What else ? Peter hates me, all the girls in the school hate me, Reg must also hate me now.  I'm haven't got anyone anymore. I pushed everyone away. Yay ! All by myself in the shitty life i lead. I can't even  not go to class, I'm pretty sure being anywhere near my mom is like ten times worst than being alone. Talking about the wolf i open the frontdoor and find her standing right in front of me.
- Victor.
- Yes ?
Oh fuck.
- This morning Victor, i told you to clean your room before going anywhere with your friends. And !...
Ugh can she just stop being so melodramatic for a second ?
-... I come home, from a long day, and nothing is done ! So now you get up there and clean the mess you live in !
I can't help but say under my breath:
-Oh kill yourself bitch.
She gets Infront of me again, she heard. Shit.
Ow FUCK ! This bitch slaps hard. I better get to work fast before she explodes.