I'm Vic Criss and my life sucks...

8

Alright i promised, today no Peter Gordon here no sir ! Actually i do have some plans with Hank in about an hour so i have some time to talk about some stuff ( or write ,you get the hang of it) and i'd like to come clean about a shadowy part of this story. You know when in a month i fell completely in love with my bestfriend ? Well i feel for you to understand this i should tell you the story of our friendship:
Once upon a time i was in kindergarten i was already friend with Henry Bowers and one day where he wasn't there ( that's probably also worrying in itself). I met a boy who even at his young age was much taller than anybody else and he was sweet. I remenber it's him who taught me how to make flowers crown after picking so many of those pretty white flowers for me . I never had seen him before, i later learned that he was always there before that but since he was so freakishly tall other kids were scared of him. I was therefore his first friend and we grew really close. We shared comics and school books which we never remembered which one was who's so we inevitably ended up leaving all of them in a corner somewhere. I saw him change in contact of Henry, but i guess i did too. I saw him get rougher, more angry, when he was around 13 and still i we were always together us too and Henry. One afternoon we were chasing something down in the barrens, can't exactly remember what it is but it's not important... The thing is that i tripped over some root on the ground and i trampled my right ankle. He stopped immediately and ran towards me to help. And that's when i saw it, the glistening in his eyes, the childlike worry ( yeah i'm kind of a poet i know) the emotions under his hard shell and bag guy attitude. That day he carried to my house, so carefully that it was almost out of character for him to be gentle, i was laying there in his arms. Maybe it's not new that i'm attracted to him... For a week he came to my house everyday to make sure i was fine and bring me my homework (i didn't go to school until I got better)he even baked me a fucking cake so naturally i organized his birthday party the next year. He turned 14 and he had a girl he liked at that time i was so jealous when he talked about her and i blamed it on the « girls are gross » god i was dumb. Until very recently i thought i was straight, it was dumb, i've never been interested in girls but i dunno one day i just woke up and everything was crystal clear because it has always been that way, i've been like that my whole life. At 15 we drank alcohol for the first time and got drunk and i've noticed this pattern ever since, everytime he's drunk he's so affectionate with me, i mean he kisses my che... wait a fucking minute... the guy's been flirting with me all along!! HOLY SHIT I was SO oblivious , i'm so fucking stupid that I'm freaking out right now when I should be glad but I'm so scared. Honestly I am feeling extatic but it's really stressful i feel so bad about Peter but i can't stay with him...
I need a plan to make sure it's fine:
So I go to his house, knock on the door and event something to come up with... Like "ho sorry Peter my common sense got stolen so let me dump you (the guy that's all over me and loves me ) for my best friend that i could loose over this that i only think could remotely interested in me !!!" So obviously that's stupid but i don't know what to tell him. I could try being more gentle like bring him to a last date where i'm really trying my best and then i bring him to his house, refuse to kiss him, let him marinate for a few days and then explain that i'm not feeling ready for a real relationship and that when i tried i was Bouhou very sad. Well i guess that could work but only if he's really gullible but i guess he could just not understand because if we have a great time and then I tell him that it won't happen ever again i would feel bad but whatever i'll do i'll feel bad because what i did was the worst thing to do ! ...Alright maybe i should just go see him and i'll go with the flow.Yeah that's seems mo- Oh someone knocking at the door. Has it been an hour already ?
I open the door and guess who's behind it. The source of all my problems, well i am the source of my problems but still,
- Peter what are you doing here ?
I don't want to tell him at all.
- Hey Vic...
He grabs me right at the spot between my hip and my waist, what a romantic, i can't possibly imagine why his girlfriend wasn't that sad he left him...
-...you have a bit of time for me ?
- Well just a bit but Hank and Hockstetter and I are gonna hang out for god's knows why.
I'm not gonna lie i like to play into his flirt game and it's not going to last forever so let me be alright ! Also what i said in the beginning, forget it,we're obviously Peterring today.
- Just enough ! Come here babe !
Did he just invite himself in and closed the door ? Wow like you don't live here man but i'm not telling him anything mostly because he's kissing me but if i could i would, that's impolite ! He slides his hand and - Holyshit he wants more... i don't want to do that no matter what !! I push him back but he's not too Happy with that.
- Aw c'mon man, just this once please ?
He gives me this look, the « please let me fuck you please ,please !! » of sorts, what does he thinks it's going to do. I'm not going to accept just because he begs me to.
- No Peter, i'm not feeling it.
- Than when will you feel ready ? C'mon man it's been 4 months, you're all talk no act !
Motherfucker.
- I don't want to, and it's final Peter and you don't have a say in that.
Oh what a pity , he feels guilty , poor boy can't get sucked off because mean Victor won't do it to him ... Seriously I'M all talk ?! The moment i talk back he hides behind mountains of guilt.
- Yeah sorry Vic it's your decision...but yknow maybe this isn't gonna work...I'm-i'm breaking up with you Victor.
Oh. And he left. And i'm alone. I didn't know it would hurt like that to end it with him. I was supposed to end the relationship and apparently that didn't happen. I'm gonna cancel with Henry and Patrick.