Truly, Madly, Deeply- A Julian De Vizio fanfic

Chapter 18

“You know, packing with you a second time isn’t any easier than packing the first time” Julian threw his shirt to Dani as she folded it and placed it in his bag.

“I know, neither is thinking about you leaving again. But if I don’t help you pack then you’ll never get it done,” she smiled, placing another shirt in the bag.

“You can’t cry this time okay?” Julian heard Dani let out a small chuckle, but he wasn’t joking. He knew that if Dani cried he wouldn’t be as strong as he was last time. He had seen her cry too many times because of his actions and he wasn’t ready for it this time, or any time afterwards. Before it was easier to hold back his emotions because he had been doing it for most of his life, but now that he had finally told her everything and she was finally his, it was too hard to act as the backbone in their relationship and keep everything under control.

“I can’t guarantee that I won’t,” Dani’s smile slowly disappeared and he knew what was coming. Recently she had been like a tap, so easy to switch on and let the salty water flow from her eyes. It wasn’t easy for her to deal with. She had been so used to having her best friend around always, no matter what, and now he was going and coming in between states. She knew that this was coming and she had prepared for this, but she never prepared for the person he turned into when he left last time, and she was terrified that he would become that person again, the one that broke her into a million pieces. There was no way she could be strong enough if he did, because now he was her boyfriend and she was in love with him more than ever, but she didn't love the person he was when he wasn’t home because he wasn’t the Julian she knew.

Julian dropped the pair of pants he was holding in his hands, a look of sorrow on his face. “Dani, please...” but before he could finish his plea, she had already let a few tears escape and fall down her cheeks.

“Ugh, sorry. I’m fine, just getting emotional. I won’t see you for so long,” Dani wiped the tears from her cheeks, not looking at Julian once. She knew that if she did, he would know there was something more to the situation.

Julian walked over to the other side of the bed where Dani stood, wrapping his arms around her in a tight squeeze as he smiled, “I love you, no matter how far away I am. I always have and always will. Remember that.” He kissed the top of her head before placing his hand underneath her chin and lifting her head up. As he looked into her eyes he could tell there was something more. He knew it wasn’t just because she was going to miss him in her presence, there was too much sadness in her eyes for that, but he couldn’t figure out what else could get her so upset. Julian gave her a sympathetic smile. As much as it killed him to watch her cry, he knew that no matter what the situation was or how hard it was to control his emotions, he had to be there and support her.

“Come on Jules, let’s finish packing your things. You leave tomorrow morning so we only have a couple of hours left to get everything in order.” Dani tried to redirect the course of events. The longer she stared into Julian’s bright blue orbs, the harder it was to cope with the thought of change. Not just the physical changes that would occur, but the emotional changes too.  

Julian let her out of his grasp, knowing that she wasn’t going to reveal anything soon, but rather let him figure it out. The rest of the night was uncomfortable for him, for them both. Even though they were a couple in love they had failed to even think of small talk. Each of them was left thinking on their own, Dani about the changes that would occur once he was in Sydney for the live shows, Julian about whether he would even see his girlfriend in that time he was away, and each thought kept drifting to the central idea of their future as a couple. Would their relationship last? Or will it fall victim to long distance pressures? Neither of them hoped for the worst, but they couldn’t help but think of the possibilities that lay in front of them.

Dani cut Julian’s train of thought as they finished packing, “Well, I guess I better head off then. I probably won’t get to see you tomorrow before you leave because I have school.”

“You aren’t staying the night?” Julian wanted her to stay. He wanted to know why the atmosphere was so awkward. This never happened between them and it made him unsettled.

“I can’t, it’s too hard Jules. I haven’t got any of my stuff with me for school tomorrow anyway,” she reasoned. She wanted to stay the night, but when she said it was too hard, she didn't mean it in regards to getting ready in the morning. Dani knew the longer she dragged out her goodbye, the harder it would be to stay while he left. She was scared that when he left, he would leave the old Julian behind, the one who always cared for her, made her laugh, made her smile, and loved her.

“Yeah I guess so, I just really wanted to cuddle you one more time in the morning before I left, you know?” his smile was heartbroken and he almost looked vulnerable. He knew there was something deeper that was affecting her so much that she didn't want to stay. He hated seeing her so upset but he knew there wasn’t much he could do at that moment.

Dani noticed the hint of vulnerability in his face. She walked up to him and cupped his face in her hands. “I love you Julian, you know that don’t you?”

“Of course I know that, and I love you too.”

“Okay, so give me your biggest cuddle now and stop making this even harder than it already is, because that face you’re giving me hurts,” she tried to lighten up the mood by breaking a smile on his face, and hers too. She didn't want him to leave on a sad note, it wasn’t right.

Julian stretched out his arms and pulled her into the tightest hug he could possibly give her. Though the live shows weren’t too much of a lengthy process, he was going to miss her just the same. He was used to being around Dani everyday and he still had no idea how to cope with the distance. Yes, this time she knew that he loved her and she was his girlfriend, but it didn't make it any easier. He wasn’t ready to go and live out his dream while she stayed back in Adelaide still trying to figure out hers.

As they both hugged for a few minutes, they hoped that the distance would pull them closer together, not drift them apart as it tried to do so before. Both Julian and Dani loved each other more than anything in the world, but sometimes all the love in the world may not be strong enough to keep them together, and though they desired that it might, they knew that their relationship wouldn’t be easy. 

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I am so sorry about my lack of updates! I've been super busy with my sister's wedding coming up and stuff. Hope you like this chapter though! Please let me know what you think :) xx