63- Roses and Thorns

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Parker POV



I wouldn't say I've been avoiding Miguel since what happened- or almost happened- between us, but I've definitely been... purposefully not spending as much time with him. I obviously still help him with schoolwork, but I've been sending said help in the form of videos, pictures, and text messages. My face goes hot every time I see him and I've taken up more shifts for the purpose of not running into him. Okay, so maybe I am avoiding him. I just... after we almost kissed, I feel like everything is so awkward. Nice going me. Every time something gets good, I ruin it. Good things don't last when it comes to me, for one reason or another, and usually I'm that reason.

It's just... I feel like I made things so incredibly awkward- no, I know I made things incredibly awkward. I fell asleep in the embrace and then woke up to the sound of Ms Diaz getting ready for work. She smiled at me and assured me that she called Abuelita and made sure that she knew that I was okay. Miguel is apparently a heavy sleeper, because I managed to slip out of his arms without waking him up. Thankfully for me, Ms Diaz had to get up super early for work that day, so I was able to get up in time to make it to show choir on time. I apologized to her, Miguel, and Abuelita a million times and all three of them reassured me that it was okay. Still. I fell asleep. In his arms. What the hell. Ay caramba. It's just a lot.

Avoiding people is quite exhausting, especially when the person you're trying to avoid seems very determined to be around you. Luckily, today is a weekend, and I have not left the apartment. It's my rest day, which means the heating pad is on my back, and ice is distributed as needed. Right now it's on my knee, which has been acting up a little ever since I smacked my leg full force into a bag while doing a spin heel kick in tae kwon do and then proceeded to fall on the ground rib cage first, which didn't break anything, but I feel like my ribs just finished healing, so it hurt, hence the ice. Everything should be fine. Ice and Tylenol work wonders and of course, there is the holy grail, the miracle worker, the all powerful... Vicks VapoRub. Abuelita suggests it for every ache and pain that I may have, and she has been for as far back as I can remember. Every time I complain about something hurting she always asks 'have you tried the Vivaporu?' and if the answer is no, she gets the little jar for me and wishes me good health like she would when I was little. We've gone through it much faster now that I've been sustaining so many injuries and she has some muscle pains because she's getting older. I put some on earlier, but then the effects started wearing off, so I wiped it off and opted for ice. Hopefully my garbage body feels better later. I was hoping to go skateboarding later this evening.

My abuelo is having some respiratory problems, so Abuelita went back upstate for the weekend to make sure that everything is okay, so I'm here manning the fort. I can't help but be anxious about his condition. I hope he's okay... I don't know if I can lose another family member... not now... not now... in the meantime, Sam and I talked over FaceTime, I baked cookies, as you do when you're nervous, and then I watched some BuzzFeed Unsolved while working on the last of the work Miguel missed, which I then sent to him, and now it's the pain alleviation attempts while switching between reading and messing around on my phone, as one does. I've been singing off and on too. Right now, it's my favorite Spanish slow song. Minor, dark, and beautiful. It's amazing.

My singing is promptly interrupted by a knock at the door. My heart stops beating. This is it, isn't it? I'm gonna get murdered. I am going to be killed. Hopefully the murderer at least doesn't get caught so I'll end up on BuzzFeed Unsolved or something. At least then it would be interesting and there would be the slightest bit of consolation for Abuelita. She likes Ryan. Not because she thinks ghosts are real, but because she thinks it's hilarious that he does. Swallowing down my fear at both getting murdered and my fear of a potential social interaction, I stand up, kubotan at the ready, and cross over to answer the door, even though it means abandoning my beloved heat pad and ice bags.

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