Out of Place [Cobra Kai OC x Robby Keene]

77 - Just Too Much

TW- job loss, talk of trauma

"Abuelita! I'm- home..." I say, excited until I look around the apartment. It's completely dark... Abuelita always leaves on a light for me to come home to because she knows the dark freaks me out... I get my kubotan from my pocket, holding it tightly as I walk around the apartment, checking behind every piece of furniture and plant, in the bathroom, the closet, my room, until finally I hear the sound of faint crying coming from Abuelita's room. My eyebrows furrow in concern. What's going on..? Is everything okay? Why is she crying? Why is dark? What's going on..?

"Abuelita... ¿qué- qué pasa..?" I ask as I open the door, walking in with timid steps. My voice wavers. My hands shake. It's not just my hands. It's my arms. It's my legs. Abuelita doesn't cry... I've never seen or heard her cry... not like this...

"Mi nieta... tienes práctica mañana... duerme un poco... (you have practice tomorrow... get some sleep...)" she says, voice as steady as she can make it through tears. I know that tone of voice... she's not okay... just like I know I'm not okay when I do the same thing...

"Algo está mal... Abuelita nunca lloras... Por favor... siempre me ayudas cuando estoy triste y molesto ... Por favor... déjame estar aquí para ti... (something's wrong... Abuelita you never cry... please... you always help me when I'm sad and upset... please... let me be here for you...)" I say back, sitting on the edge of the bed, as I think I might fall over if I keep standing for too much longer.

"No, Princesa, tienes tanto de qué preocuparte en este momento ... necesitas enfocarte... descansa un poco... (you have so much to worry about right now... you need to focus... get some rest...)" she says. Ay Dios mío... she's exactly like me... I guess the coquí doesn't stray too far from the rainforest...

"Lo siento por ser irrespetuoso... pero no me voy... (I'm sorry for being disrespectful... but I'm not leaving...)" I say, voice barely above a whisper. I hate the tension. I need to know what's wrong. It has to be big if she's crying about it in the dark... I look over at her, though she doesn't meet my eyes. Abuelita is the queen of eye contact... and there's this- this... light that always shines in her eyes... kind of like that sparkle in Robby's that makes me feel like everything will be okay... but now... now I can't see it...

"Ay, Princesa... you are stubborn, just like your papi..." she says, making tears stick in my throat like thick peanut butter, "there was a review left by someone who I once assisted... they said that my accent was too hard to understand... they said I didn't understand enough about the United States to help their child with their history class... the tutoring company is in a tight spot... I figured they were going to let people go... after the review, I was number one on the list... perdí mi trabajo... (I lost my job...)"

I feel my world start to spin, things twisting and knotting like snakes in the dark, relentless in their pursuit of chaos. My stomach turns and spins on a blind roller coaster. In the dark I can't tell what's a dark splotch crossing my eyes, or the shadowed figure of a piece of furniture. I guess it doesn't matter either way. Tears blur my vision, making it impossible to really tell what's what. It's like living in a nightmare, or a fever dream... and with what she just told me... it just makes it even more so.

"No... no... no... you know more about history than anyone, it's what you went to college for. You've studied U.S. history, Puerto Rican history, South American, Central American, African, Asian, European, hell, you've studied the history of the moon! You're the smartest person I know, and you work well with kids of all ages! And they chose to let you go over that sickly sweet hijo de puta, Sarah? I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'll watch my language, I promise. I just- I just- you came out of retirement to help me, and now..." I say, shaking worse than ever as I try to take a deep breath to recollect myself, "no es tu culpa. Voy a asegurarme de que las cosas estén bien. Voy a arreglar esto (it's not your fault. I'm going to make sure things are all okay. I'm going to fix this)."