northside girl | b.e.

chapter twenty five

MADISON
billie was performing on stage in a small venue. of course, i was right there at barricade, singing every lyric back to her. she kept glancing at me and smiling as she sang. the crowd were singing and pushing me up against the barricade but i ignored the pain of being crushed well, because how could i focus on the pain when my amazing girlfriend was right in front of me, having the time of her life?

billie had never really told anyone who i was in interviews and stuff, so they knew that billie has a girlfriend, but they didn't know who i was. at the end of billie's set, she grabbed my hand and helped me get on to the stage. once i did, i waved shyly as billie said goodbye to the crowd. they all cheered before billie rushed off stage, dragging me with her.

she dragged me into the green room and slammed the door shut before pushing me up against it and kissing me harshly, teeth knocking and my head hitting the door. billie tangled her fingers in my hair, pulling it. "take my clothes off."

i kissed back, removing billie's clothes, taking my time. billie removed her hands from my hair, instead using both hands to push me back against the door. "faster, bitch."

i furrowed my eyebrows and stared at her and she pushed me again. "billie..."

"come on, i'm fucking horny."

"billie... no. i'm not in the mood now, sorry." i sighed, pushing her off of me. "what was that about? you know we haven't talked about being rough, i never said i was okay with that" i told her as i went to sit down on the little couch.

"what, so you're not gonna help me?" billie asked me as she stood there, practically naked.

"the moment is ruined, don't you think?" i asked and she shook her head, coming over to where i was sitting and straddling me. i was clearly annoyed but she didn't care. "you hurt me, bil. it actually really did hurt." i told her and she jutted out her bottom lip.

"want me to kiss it better?" she asked before unexpectedly leaving in and biting my ear softly, breathing into my ear. she knew that was one of my biggest turn ons. "come on, baby."

she began to suck on my neck then, repositioning herself slightly before grinding down on my leg. i was extremely uncomfortable yet aroused and i sighed before giving in and flipping our positions.

***

when i got home, i felt kinda gross. billie came home with me. i told her i was gonna shower and she insisted on coming with me. after that, i knew what i had to do.

"leelee? can you, uh... go home?" i asked and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"what?" billie asked, completely taken aback.

"i just... need a little space for a day or two."

"why? 'cause you didn't wanna take off my fucking clothes fast enough? are you serious, madison?" she asked and i sent her a look.

"billie, go home, please." i muttered. "i'm just a little shaken, that's all." i lied. i hit my head real hard on the door. "i'm just not used to you being so... assertive."

"it's not a big deal, madison. jesus. if you wanna be boring and vanilla, do that."

i furrowed my eyebrows. "what, i'm boring and vanilla now because i didn't like how you spoke to me and were being rough?" i asked and she rolled her eyes.

"you're so fucking dramatic, you know that?" billie asked, raising her voice. i pushed my lips into a line and nodded. not out of agreement, out of me understanding what she's really like. she's showing how she really feels about things like this. "you want me to go home because of that?"

"i want you to go home because i don't know what the fuck has gotten into you, billie." i told her calmly. "now go."

"fine. don't act like you didn't fuck me right after that." billie grumbled, picking up all of her stuff.

"i fucked you right after that because you quite literally seduced me, billie..." i groaned. "just go, please. we're definitely going to talk about this, but i just don't wanna be around you right now."

"whatever. text me when you realise how dramatic you're being." billie said before walking out the door and shutting it after her. she didn't even tell me she loves me...

i sat there and stared at the door and just began to cry. i didn't like how billie was acting at all, it was so unlike her. she's supposed to be my adorable, shy girlfriend. not a bitch who completely invalidates how i'm feeling.

i couldn't believe that any of that actually happened. i wasn't sure she was even sober, although i low-key hoped she was. i don't want her having to battle any addictions.

i just wanted her to be back to normal. i assumed she was having a bad day, but i'm not sure i will ever see her the same after her dismissing my feelings like that. maybe she was right, maybe it wasn't a big deal, but if i'm telling you i'm uncomfortable, don't invalidate me.

i sighed and laid back in bed. i just really hope she'll be back to my adorable leelee by tomorrow.