northside girl | b.e.

chapter ten

MADISON
the next day, billie had work early in the morning and so she left, but not before smothering me in kisses. i didn't have work, so i just stayed at home, thinking. thinking about billie.

i couldn't stop thinking of her sexy orgasm face, or how hot she looked as she used my leg for pressure. how determined she was to come, and how fast she came. i mean, shit, i could've came just looking at her. i didn't, obviously, and so i just went to bed hot and bothered, her in my arms all comfy cosy. as if she didn't have a second thought about it.

now, i was fit to jump her bones at any opportunity i got. i didn't have work, so i just laid in my bed, replaying that image of billie in my head, and maybe even fucking myself a couple of times. and a couple more.

when i was finished, i decided to be productive. i also... gave up on my novel. yes, the novel i worked on relentlessly for months on end. that's just a thing that happens with some writers. you spend so much time on a piece of work only to lose all motivation, or you just don't like where it's going, so you end it. i wrote around fifty thousand words, maybe i was close to the end. i didn't know. i just wasn't into it anymore. so i gave up.

instead, i decided to draw. billie, to be specific. i like arts. i drew a sketch of billie in her dress from last night, standing slightly to the side, with one of her legs slightly in the air. like she was posing for a picture. it was just a quick little sketch at first, but then i started to add details. next thing i knew i had a whole drawing of billie in my notebook on one of the blank white pages at the start.

i continued to draw for a while before i heard a soft knock at the door. "madison?" i heard my name being called. i couldn't tell who it was, but it was a very feminine voice.

"billie?" i called out, scrambling out of bed, covering my notebook with my blanket. i combed my fingers through my hair, going over to the front door and opening it with a smile.

when i saw the unexpected but familiar woman standing before me, i felt all the blood draining from my face. "well, shit."

"hi, mads." she grinned shyly, leaning forward to touch my face. i pushed her cold hand away from me.

"don't touch me. and don't fucking call me that." i spat, moving so that she couldn't walk in the door.

my mom. it was my mom at the door. the very mother that neglected me as a kid, left me to raise myself while she did every single street drug with her crackhead friends like the junkie bitch she was. is. the mom who wasn't there for my first day of school, so my friend's sister brought me instead. the mom who left me at home for weeks on end with no food, money or electricity at eleven years old.

"you're not welcome here, angela. walk away." i grumbled, staring her down.

"come on, baby. my only baby." she pleaded. "momma misses you, you know. i just wanted to come see you, you graduated, right?"

"two fucking years ago. if you were here, you'd know." i gritted through my teeth, looking away from her.

"my baby girl. i love you, you know. with my whole heart. you're my everything. i'm sorry i wasn't always there, i had some things to do. i'm here now." she said, walking closer and hugging me. i just stood there uncomfortably. "everything's okay, now. momma's home."

tears began the form in my eyes and i pushed her away, letting out a small sob. "you... you always do this!" i stuck my pointer finger to her chest. "you leave without saying shit for months, years and then you come back and persuade me to trust you again, saying that you'll stay and we'll be a happy mother and daughter. but that's never the fucking case, is it mom!?" i was practically yelling at this point. "as soon as i'm feeling good about you being here, you fucking fuck up or disappear without explanation. sometimes even both. i'm not letting it happen again, angela. walk the fuck away before i physically fucking remove you from MY APARTMENT!" i sobbed, beginning to bawl.