Raven: An Unexpected Adventure

Twelve

Bilba

Buckland, by the Old Forest

Early November 2958

Returning to the smial really was like coming home to Bilba. She had lived there for sixteen years, after all, and even if it had only been a life in exile, it was still a life. She had never intended it to be home. At least not for any stretch of time, but now that it came down to it, she was glad to be back.

Her life had been peaceful in Imladris. She had plenty of time to walk in the gardens and to read in the libraries, and there was never any shortage of good food. In spite of the restful atmosphere, however, she'd never been able to feel truly at peace there. Following her introduction to the Lady Arwen and the revelation about her Ring, Bilba had found very little time for walks or afternoon naps. Instead, she'd become buried at the heart of weighty discussions about future plans and enemy movements. There had been many trying days, yet for some reason, they all seemed to be behind her. Lady Arwen herself refused to leave Bilba's side, no matter how unpleasant Bilba got. Estel and Legolas, and even the Lord Elrond himself followed her example. Slowly then, the negotiations had continued. Indeed, she likely would still be trapped there, seeking the answers to problems far greater than she wished to be a part of, if Fíli's raven hadn't arrived.

Bilba had left the same day. There had been protests, but she ignored them all. Raven had been hurt, had been attacked in spite of the greater protection afforded to her. Already, it had been over a month since she'd seen her daughter. In light of the recent events, Bilba refused to wait any longer. She was going home and that was final. A guard had been sent with her, but she had outpaced them for the last stretch. Likely now, however, they would have arrived at the smial. They knew the way. Estel and Legolas both had refused to allow her to travel alone on the roads. After the two young royals had declared their intentions, the Els had also insisted on joining her guard. Bilba had been in too much of a rush to argue with them about being overprotective. After all, in what world did a hobbit need the protection of three members of royalty? She was just a simple hobbit after all, married to Thorin or not, she did not claim the title of Queen.

Striding away from the smial, and its newly added dwarrow camp, Bilba could hear Fíli's heavy booted strides behind her. She knew that she had to speak to Dwalin as well. Moreover, they would only be the beginning, but Bilba still wasn't ready to have this conversation. Still, Raven had asked it of her because Fíli had become a part of her life. Naturally, Bilba hadn't been able to bear disappointing her, not when Raven had already lived through so much in her short life. During Bilba's absence, Fíli had become her daughter's protector. So, when mother and daughter had tearily broken from each other's embrace, the first thing that Raven had asked about was whether things would be alright with Fíli as well. Bilba had known she couldn't delay the inevitable; she had to talk to Fíli. Then, she'd talk with Dwalin and, when Thorin and the Company arrived, she'd talk to them as well. Only after I talk with them all can I truly know if we'll be able to work things out. Bilba mused to herself, hoping that things would go well enough that she didn't have to disappoint Raven again. But, just how well do I want things to go? She wondered as they continued to walk. Will things ever truly return to how they used to be? In Bilba's heart, she doubted it.

Behind her, Fíli's steps made Bilba feel both comforted and nervous all at once. He is grown now, she reflected, grown up just as Thorin and I imagined he would be. Bilba stumbled a step, feeling the breath forced from her lungs. The implications of her side thought were many. The grass beneath her feet was soft and relatively even, but the mere memory of Thorin caused her to trip. She had forced herself for so long to stop remembering the Company because it hurt too much. Out of nowhere, however, those thoughts had returned. Well, perhaps not out of nowhere, Bilba conceded, thinking about the dwarf behind her. Still, that last thought had felt so natural. Bilba's stomach twisted uncomfortably as she fought to quell the feeling.