Raven: An Unexpected Adventure

Twenty-Seven

Bilba

Bag End, Hobbiton

11 January 2959

Bilba paced around the small study, toying with the soft fabric of her simple dress. She wound about in tight circles– her mind spinning wildly. She was trying to process Thorin's offer, however, it was hard to know where to begin. Since their first meeting he had been so set on reclaiming his throne. Even amongst the Company he had commanded respect without question. They had all felt like her family by the end, but no matter how close they'd all become Thorin had been their King. Each member of the Company would have given their lives for Thorin because he was their King. Even Bilba would have died for him and she had only just met him. Commanding that kind of loyalty wasn't easy and yet he was willing to give it all up– his birthright.

Bilba let out a long breath. She knew that she should return, find Raven and talk with her, but she still didn't know what to make of it herself. Just another minute, she thought as she sank into her chair. It was her old chair, and she remembered spending many an hour in it reading books, writing letters, and so forth. It was an odd familiarity. She could almost imagine that the Quest hadn't taken place. Almost.

Before she left Bag End she was sure she would have asked Thorin to abdicate. The mere thought of becoming Queen? Of having to assume responsibility for a people who spoke a language she didn't know? With expectations she couldn't even begin to guess about? It was all daunting to say the least. After seeing what Thorin meant to the Company, she couldn't possibly ask that of him. He had offered it but, even if he meant it, Thorin had been born to be the King of his people. It was true, Fíli had grown up, he might be ready to assume the throne if need be, but Thorin would never be happy here in the Shire.

Bilba was barely happy in the Shire now. She'd had a taste of the wider world, had gone on an adventure, and thus she knew that life in the Shire was mundane. She craved something more. Living at the smial was miserable because she always feared for Raven's survival. Still, it was better, she thought, than living here. Life at Bag End never changed. She had been accepted back into society. It was what she thought she wanted. Hosting and going to teas, discussing dresses, and gossiping at length day in and day out was no longer her thing.

Bilba's eyes snapped open. She didn't remember closing them, but she knew then what she had to do. She might not know what it was to be a Queen, but Dís would help her and she wanted to return to Erebor. It would be facing her fear to return to where everything had gone so horribly wrong before. Some nights she still had nightmares about dangling over the balustrade. On occasion she would think she heard Thorin's gold-crazed roar. This, might be her her happily ever after– hopefully.

Happily ever after, is that even a thing? she mused before she could stop herself. As though it had read her mind, a weight dragged down her pocket. The Ring. She had insisted on taking it with her from Rivendell. Lord Elrond had counseled against it. He had not had a better idea save to leave it under guard in Rivendell– which hardly seemed any safer. Bilba slipped a hand in her pocket, as another realization made a pit in her chest. She'd have to tell Thorin about the Ring. It wouldn't be fair to bring such a danger into Erebor. If Elrond was to be believed, then she would have to destroy it as soon as possible. Unfortunately, there was only one place she could go to do that: Mordor.

The very name of the land caused a shiver to run through her. She never wanted to travel there, but if it would mean the end of evil who was she to say no? If she was making Middle Earth safer for Raven and Thorin? Didn't that make her decision all the more imperative? She had to act– she had to protect her family, even if it meant her life.

First things first, Bilba decided. She would have to speak to Raven and decide what to do with regard to going back to Erebor before she could act.