What is Love?

~ Chapter 1 ~

~ Present Day~

What is love? Is it a rhetorical question? Or does it have one solid answer? If it does have one solid answer, please someone answer it for me. All I know is that through all my past relationships I don't think I ever fell in love. Maybe love is round the corner for me? Or maybe it's been at my front door this whole time and I never realized it? The more thought we seem to put into things, the more questions we come up with. Probably best I actually get to the story of my life then eh?

My life or my journey through life should I say, is still not over surprisingly. This is sort of where this book begins. Let me catch you up to speed first. My name is Phoenix Parker, I know my parents picked a weird name, I'm twenty-two years old and currently in my second year of college. I'm studying undergrad medicine, I know fancy, it wasn't my first choice of courses.

I grew up in Dallas, Texas and now I'm currently residing in Boston, New York. Big change! I'm an only child so the closest thing I've ever had to a sibling is my best friend Naomi. She's been with me through all the firsts and all the lasts. And I hope she stays with me to the end.

We grew up living across the street from one another. We were inseparable. She could get any boy she ever wanted only she never took a chance with them. She would brush them off her shoulder as if to say ''just another day at the office''. I was the opposite, I'd throw myself at boys only hoping one of them would like it. I WAS WRONG! The more attention I drew to myself, the less any boys noticed me. So I gave up. Just accepted my life as it was.

I've had plenty of crushes on boys, but none of them just felt right for me. When I had my first kiss, I pulled away ten seconds in because he smelled of Cheetos. When I nearly lost my virginity, I pulled away yet again, but this time for no reason. I didn't want to give away that part of myself to someone I didn't think I could trust. Or give it to someone I didn't even love. Ah, there's that word again, love.

Naomi and I moved to New York when we were 18 and straight out of high school. We knew no one, but Naomi was the confident type and got to know everyone she ever said hello to. I on the other hand, just simply stood there and pretended to blend into the wall. I never had a close relationship with either of my parents. Not after their divorce that is. I was sort of glad to get out of Dallas and start a fresh new life in New York. I choose to do medicine as my course for college because my mother insisted I do a course that will get me somewhere in life. It was probably the only time I ever listened to her.

So now that I've caught you up to speed, let's get to the present. Naomi and I are on summer vacation for the next six weeks. So Naomi is dragging me back to Dallas with her to stay at her parent's place for a few weeks. Oh yeah, I may have forgotten to mention, that I hate Naomi's brother. Calum Calvin. Even his name sounds like a jerk's name. I can't tell Naomi why I hate her brother but it goes way back to when we were teenagers. Memories I buried for Naomi's purpose.

I haven't been back to Dallas since the day I moved. Two years ago. My mother moved out of her house across the street from Naomi when I left. She said she didn't find much need to live in a house that I was never going to return to. We had a huge fight the day I left and I haven't spoken to her since, nor will I ever speak to her again.

When we pulled into the driveway of The Calvin's house, I felt like I was that sixteen-year-old child again coming back home wishing I had a life as perfect as Naomi's. Naomi's parents were always happy. Unlike mine who couldn't even be in the same room as each other without one of them ending up in the ER.

The drive was quiet, mainly on my behalf. I didn't know how I would feel until I was back standing outside my old house.

I stood out of the car that we rented from the airport and glanced over at the house I grew up in. I didn't want to look at it or I knew all them feelings would come flooding back. I built up a wall in my mind to block them out years ago, and I'd very much like that wall to stay built up. Mr. and Mrs. Clavin came out to greet up and help us with our bags.