1. And The Count knew Ravin' Booty his wife; and she conceived and bare Rodomontade Demi-Taux Raven-Faux, Junior, and said to her man, Oh, lord! What have you done to me?
2. And she again bare his brother Rantin and Rodomontade, Junior was a keeper of gerbils, but Rantin was a keeper of the grounds.
3. And in process of time it came to pass, that Rantin brought of the fruit of the sandspurs and beggar lice to the grounds of the Raven Clan family reunion.
4. And Junior, he brought of the firstlings of his gerbils and fried them in fat. And Dada Rodomontade had respect unto Junior's southern fried gerbil and his delicately sweet, slightly salty dingla-beri sauce.
5. But unto Rantin's salad of sandspurs and beggar lice the Count did not respect. And Rantin became overwrought and held his breath until upon his countenance didst he fall.
6. And The Count said unto Rantin, Why art thou overwrought up? And why fallest thou upon thine countenance?
7. If thou dust doeth well, don't you think I'd knoweth it? You did not well with your sandspur and beggar lice salad. The French dressing leaveth much to my desire.
8. And Junior talked trash with Rantin his brother: when they were in the field passed they gas, Rantin's gas passing rose against Junior his brother and spewed him until he didst leave or die.
9. And The Count said unto Rantin, where is Junior thy brother? And he said I know not. He said he was going out for some smoke. Am I my brother's dealer?
10. And Rodomontade, Senior, he said, Where hast he gone? The hacking of thy brother's lungs cryeth to me from the grounds.
11. And art coursed from the earth as strange symbols were perceived in the sandspurs and the beggar lice of the grounds. His mouth has opened to receive the hand bloodied while picking the sandspurs from his good bib overalls.
12. Didst thou tilleth the ground, or didst a vagabond yield these symbols in the sandspurs and beggar lice in the earth?
13. And Rantin said unto The Count The sandspurs and beggar lice on my good bib overalls is greater than I can bear. I knoweth not how these symbols were created. NOT!
14. Behold, thou hast so driven me this day that to the earth my countenance didst plummet. Thou maketh me want to hideth mine countenance. That was not salad with French dressing, but my offering of sandspurs and beggar lice with mine mingled blood expressing to thou my deep connection with our earth. And then thou asketh if a wandering vagabond did create my symbolic earth art for the Watchers in the sky. Thou noticeth not my bib overalls of thorns which representeth the pain of the little people of the field. I hadst intended to calleth my new art form after you, Dada! Thou doth understand me not! Just shoot me!
15. And The Count said unto Rantin Who hath said thou shouldst be slain? Showest him to me and I shalt leaveth marks upon him sevenfold! Which way didst he goeth? Which way didst he goeth? And Junior did say Thou shalt getteth me never, Dada! Thou lovest HIM besttht! Goodest bye!
16. And Rantin went out from their presence to the Art Collective of Nod east of the Raven Clan.
17. And Rantin knew his wife, Stella Nuthen, because they met before marrying in an art course on scraping things into rocks and trees. And she conceived, and bare Rantin Nuthen Raven-Faux: and he builded a cabin, and called the name of the cabin, after his son's father, the Rantin Raven-Faux School of Tribal Outsider Art.
18. And unto Rantin N. Raven-Faux was born Rantin N. Raven-Faux, Junior.
19. And Rantin, Junior took unto him two wives, because he was nuts: the name of the one was Ima Nuthen and the name of the other was Peaches.
20. And Ima bare Rantin III who would one day dwell in a tent in the woods with the gerbil herds.
21. And his brother's name was Sphe-noid: he wouldst sire with anyone who handleth his organ.
22. And Peaches, she also bare Eth-moid, an instructor in the Art Collective of Nod teaching scraping things onto copper and ironing was done by an sister Rant-Anne.
23. And Rantin, Junior said unto his wives Ima and Peaches, Harken unto my speech: for I have hired a pathologist to improve Eth-moid's speaking because the young man's grammar and pronunciations wound my ears.
24. If Eth-moid shall be pathologized sevenfold, truly Sphe-noid needeth seventy and sevenfold.
25. And Rantin, Junior knew his wives again; Ima bare a son and called his name Sue and Peaches bare everything and called its name Por-no. For God's sake, said she, anoint me with seed if you are able instead of Ima, who comes slowly.
26. And the Johns, they also bare and call them Pe-nos and began to call out the name of OgodOGodOGod.
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THE MYASSA BIBLE
SpirituellesIt seems that everyone has an "English" Bible filled with undecipherable grammar, spelling, activities, and interpretations because it was written in an ancient language starting around 3000-4000 years ago and scribed to be read by people in that an...
