THE MYASSA BIBLE

THE EIGHTH PLAGUE

After issuing the traffic advisory a coupla days ago, The Mayor started talking about a coincidence involving frogs and grasshoppers in Myassa that happened a few days after the frog popping holocaust. The Mayor was meeting with the new preacherman at Our Lady of Perpetual Sacred Collateral Damage Cathedral, Rectory and Girl's School, Bishop Brother Father Gluteus Maximus "Max Daddy" Bigga-Butz that was sent to us from Rome, "to aid the recovery of the other people involved" by putting some distance between the parties involved according to the authorities in Rome. They sent him here from The Little Sisters of The Blessed Saint Aunt Jemima (She's the patron, or is it matron saint of IHOPs, Waffle Houses, crepes chefs, elevator busboys and frog skin tanners.) nun farm. (A farm run by nuns, not growing them.) (I guess they didn't want to send "Max Daddy" Bigga-Butz too far away since Rome is just a little north east of Atlanta.)

The Father told The Mayor that the worm-frog-grasshopper-crow mishap was a MIRACLE. A coupla days earlier, Our Lady etc had received some holy fetishes from the period described in Exodus. They went to Our Lady etc.'s reliquary room where the fetishes were laid out on a holy shrine covered by a Holy Prayer Cloth©. (The Mayor thought it looked more like an office chair under a bath towel.) Opening the lid of the Holy Cardboard Reliquary© revealed four holy fetishes from the second plague of Egypt: Mummified Frogs of the Lord©. And then from the eighth plague, The Holy Freeze Dried Grasshopper of the Lord©. Were these holy fetishes omens which count toward their holier than those other fetishes certification? (I hear that the tests are zealously administered with extremely high security and Holy Checklists© to expose fakes and frauds.)

Rev Bigga-Butz declared the frog and grasshopper mummies to be an accurate prediction of the Myassa frog holocaust. The Mayor said it shouldn't count towards holyfication if the prediction hadn't been interpreted before the event happened and wanted to know why Bishop Bigga Butz didn't warn him. Max Daddy said that predictions have to be withheld until after the event in order to find out if they are correct or not. He said that if they aren't correct they need to be kept from the public so that church and social order is maintained and that the Holy Secrets of Prophesies Field Manual 122-45F© can't be amended because it would undermine the relationship between the church and its wealthiest senile contributors.

The Bishop told The Mayor that he needed to leave for a scheduled appointment for a Vow of Silence Party© in his private suite with one of the new recruits for the girl's school. He cordially invited The Mayor back to witness more holy relics.