Battle Scars - A Watcher-Grian AU story

Chapter 11 - In which NPG comes out of the closet

TW: Panic attacks, mentions of torture, mentions of memory altering, just your typical TWs for this story

Eyn looked at X. Despite their previous fear, they managed to speak fairly steadily. "And w- Why would grian hurt me?"

"You were begging him to not hurt you..." X mumbled, but Eyn saw him look away nervously. Did X know? If so, he was horrible at hiding at it... Eyn could feel the words X was repressing almost like a fog around him, but decided to speak a different angle... It'd hurt, but they had to tell X about it.

"... You really don't know." Eyn stared at the ground

"Huh?" X sounded surprised, his shock filling his voice.

"Do you know what the Watchers do to prisoners..." Eyn's shoulders raised as a sort of protection, as if it would defend themselves. 

A barrage of blurry, distorted memories assaulted them, horrific, bloody images of X trying to kill them, of the torture, of player after player laughing and attacking them... They didn't know what was real and what was implanted into their memories. The only thing they knew was real was the pain, the watchers attacking them, trying to make them snap... And they did, rolling into a ball sobbing for days on end until they couldn't anymore, mumbling to themself... He couldn't shake off the barrage of pain and memories.

A pressure came, pressing lightly on their shoulder, allowing Eyn to ground themself. With a deep breath, and X's calming presence he was able to swim above the flood of images, He looked up at X.

"Shh, your safe... But if you don't mind my question, what do you mean?"

"You know how watcher scars work..." They mumbled, their gaze trailing back to the ground.

"Oh Notch- did they give you these?" X touched Eyn's cheek. "Do they still hurt? Pearl said sometimes her twinge- I can see if I can find something to help-"

They chuckled sadly. "It's fine X, truely. But yeah, they gave me these, and a bunch of others... but they also mess with your mind, your memories... I can't even trust most of my memories of you... Of myself... For example, they... Made me think you nearly killed me... multiple times."

"Eyn..." X's voice was full of sympathy for the enby.

Eyn realized tears were rolling down their face, that they were shivering,  but they had to ask X...

"Xisuma... Am I how you remember me? Or am I still their little puppet, dancing to the song they made me sing?" They gasped out, not wanting to hear the truth, but not wanting to live not knowing if the strings the watchers attached to him to control him were still there.

"... You're... different." X started, causing more tears to well up in Eyn's eyes. "But... I'm not surprised. You went through a lot of trauma, it's inevitable your mind will mold to protect it's self. Frankly, I'd be shocked if you had still been the innocent little sibling I remembered."

"Just by two minutes..." Eyn mumbled.

"And I will cherish those two minutes greatly." X chuckled. "But your not entirely different, you still make your witty remarks, and keep me in line. So no, as always, you dance to your own song."

The two hugged each other, Eyn was still sobbing, but this time from the bittersweet feeling of comfort and relief. Eyn calmed down, and X ran his hand through their hair.

Silence fell, and they heard quiet sobbing from the kitchen. The two looked each other in the eyes, and ran over to see Grian curled up in a ball, tears flowing off his face, struggling for air. He was shaking and sobbing in the corner of the room, his eyes clenched closed.