One and a Half Months Later...
As I headed to grab something to eat for lunch on campus on the last day before summer break begins, I tried to move forward and focus on the present, but no matter how much I tried, my mind kept going back to the fact I was told in the first two weeks since my novel's release, it's been a failure so far, even for the first release from an unknown author.
It's so upsetting and frustrating that with all the hard work and passion I put into writing this, it still ended up not being enough. I was so afraid of this happening for so long, and it ended up becoming a reality. With one more sigh, I bottled those thoughts up for the moment being, I arrived at the cafeteria, and after getting something to eat I sat down to eat alone, dreading the decision I made yesterday.
As I silently ate my lunch, a certain blonde sat across from me and said "Hey Y/n, is something up? We typically have lunch together."
I tried to give Mari a smile even though I know how good she is at picking up on when I'm hiding something, and said "Yeah, I'm fine. How about you?"
Mari gave me a concerned look, not believing me and knowing what was up, and said "I'm doing great. Dia and I are going to be hanging out tonight."
"Oh? Kanan isn't going to join you?" I asked. After all, those three are so close.
"She was going to, but something came up with her family's diving shop and she needs to help out." Mari said
"I guess that makes sense. Especially considering the time of year." I said, nodding my head.
The two of us spent lunch together talking about whatever, and I tried to find some joy in it, since this might be the last time the two of us will be able to spend time together as a couple like this.
As lunch came to an end, and we got up to head out, with my heart aching, I said "Mari, we need to talk."
"Yeah? What is it, Y/n?" Mari asked
"Mari, I'm so sorry, but I think we should see different people. The time I've spent with you has been so amazing, but lately it's felt like the spark has started to die, and as much as I want to stay your friend, I don't know if I can stay your lover." I said, trying to stop myself from saying that this was a joke or something. This will be for the best after all.
Mari's expression sharpened as she said "That's not really a funny joke Y/n."
"It's not a joke, I still care about you and want to be your friend, but it doesn't feel like it's working out anymore." I said, and then as I felt myself ready to tear up over giving up somebody so important to me, I said "I'm sorry, I need to get to my next class now, but please, text me later if you're alright with us remaining friends."
Mari seemed speechless as I left, and rather than heading to class, I started the trip back home, since with my heart aching the way it is, I don't feel like going to class, or doing anything really.
—--------------------------------------
That evening, I sat in my room, my mind too blank to even try writing and so I spent my time mindlessly browsing the internet, when I saw that I was getting a phone call from Dia. I took a deep breath before I answered and said "Yeah?"
"Did you seriously break up with Mari out of nowhere?" Dia said, just from her tone causing me to be able to notice how upset she is with me... then I guess that despite how understanding Mari tried to be at the time, I hurt her. Though knowing her, she tried to hide it from her friends, only for them to start to pick up on it.
"I did." I responded, not sure what to say
"Whenever I saw you too, I thought you always made each other so happy. It even seemed that way recently, so did the spark really die?" Dia asked
I let out a sigh and said "No, I loved her more than I ever thought possible, and I still do. But our tastes, our places in life, and even whether or not we're successful are so different. No matter how much I love her, that passion alone will never be enough and she could do so much better than me. And I know there is no way I'd ever be good enough for her."
"So you broke her heart because you're insecure?" Dia said, venom dripping from her words.
"I know I'm a jerk, but still, I know you want what's best for her as much as I do, and I know that there is definitely somebody out there who'll be able to make her so much happier." I said before I hung up the phone, feeling physically ill with myself after realizing that I'd hurt Mari enough that Dia got in contact with me to chew me out.
I hate the idea of causing any pain to Mari, but this is for the best. I let out a sigh and decided that before I try to live as just a friend to Mari, I'd wait a bit and give her some space.
—-----------------------------------
Mari's Perspective
"I know I'm a jerk, but still, I know you want what's best for her as much as I do, and I know that there is definitely somebody out there who'll be able to make her so much happier." Y/n said over the phone, his voice filling the room since the speaker had been on. After I told Dia what happened, Dia wanted to find out his reasons for herself, and after I asked her, she agreed to do it over speaker in exchange for staying silent during it. It hurts to have broken up with Y/n despite how much I love him, but I could tell just from how he was acting when he did it that his heart wasn't really in what he was saying
As Y/n hung up the phone, Dia looked back to me, as I sat on the couch behind her and said "You heard his reasons now, what do you think?"
"Y/n... I know he thinks he's trying to do what he thinks is best for me, but I don't care about that, I love him and I want to be with him as much as he wants to be with me." Mari said, tears still in the corner of my eyes after crying earlier, after I finally told Dia what happened. "He's talked about being afraid that passion might not be enough in the end in the past, but I never thought that this would happen because of it."
He's said in the past that he's scared that in the end that just because he's passionate about something doesn't mean that it'll work out or not cause somebody pain in the future, that he'll still be lacking where it really matters, but I don't care about any chance of that. I love him and I want to be with him. I want to go to him and tell him that none of that matters, that I love him anyway, but I know that if anything, I want to help Y/n realize that this self-sacrifice and fear is wrong, so he can fight against it himself. That way, the person I love won't be holding himself back, and hurting himself like this anymore.
There was a silence between Dia and I for a while as I tried to figure out how to Y/n, and after a while I said "Dia, will you help me with something? I have an idea."
Dia gave me a gentle smile and nodded "Of course."
---------------------------------------------------
A/n: I started to come up with this upcoming plot point pretty early into planning this, and I tried to plant the seeds to Y/n's insecurities in the chapters leading up to this, but even with all that, I'm terrible at writing any type of scene with a breakup and the like. It kills me to write it, and so while I tried to do my best with the first scene, I know I could have done better. But still, I hope you'll stick around for the follow up in the next chapter.
YOU ARE READING
Love Live! Everlasting Shine (Mari Ohara x Male Reader)
RomanceY/n has always been a more shy and quiet person, but when he's feeling excited and passionate, a confidence not really found otherwise appears in him. This hasn't really been something he could take any advantage of, but one day at a concert he runs...
