Play Pretend

Chapter 13

#OLAPlayPretend

Chapter 13
Formalities

"Xaiver, ano ba?!" I angrily pushed him away with full force. I thought he wouldn't budge, but his body fell back a little. Bumagsak din ang kanyang ulo at balikat.

I didn't mean to shout at him. Natatakot ako na baka magalit siya sa akin at masisante ako, but I wasn't comfortable with his aggressive advancements. Kung tingin niya ay makikisali ako sa laro niya dahil boss ko siya, nagkakamali siya!

Xaiver looked dejected, not until a playful smile touched his lips.

"Pwede bang huwag kang magbiro nang ganyan?" The growing anger inside me stung my eyes with heat. Pinipigilan ko lamang ang sariling tuluyang maiyak dahil sa inis at sa nararamdamang hindi ko maintindihan.

"Until now, huh?" Xaiver licked his lips. "Until now you still think I'm just lying and playing?"

"At ano'ng gusto mong mangyari? Maniwala ako sa 'yo?" tanong ko, naeeskandalo sa mga sinasabi niya. "Nagbibiro ka man o hindi, marriage isn't something that should be taken lightly. At least, that's for me. Kung tingin mo'y laro-laro lang ang pagpapakasal, ikaw 'yon — huwag mo akong idamay."

Napakunot ang noo ni Xaiver at nawala ang ngisi sa kanyang mga labi.

Although I was putting my job at risk, wala na akong pakialam. I had to let him see reason dahil baka masyado lang din siyang nape-pressure sa mga nangyayari, and he needed someone to guide him. I had to let him know na hindi tama ang ginagawa o iniisip niya.

Sino'ng baliw ang magpapakasal sa taong hindi niya gusto?

And yes! Alam kong hindi niya naman talaga ako gusto gaya ng sinasabi niya. Gumagawa lang siya ng paraan para mapabilog ako't mapaniwala na gusto niya nga ako para i-consider ko ang pagpapakasal sa kanya.

Unfortunately for him, I'm not a fool. I'm not like other women who will swoon over him and flock to his feet. I experienced being loved unconditionally by my stepfather. Even if we weren't biologically related, he loved and cared for me like his real daughter, and I had seen how much he loved my mother when he was still alive.

Since then, I promised myself not to settle for anything less. Bukod sa isinagot ko roon sa survey, I would find a man like my father. I would search for a husband with the same principles he had, especially when it comes to marriage. Hindi katulad ni Xaiver na para bang ang liit-liit ng tingin sa isang sagradong bagay.

Initially, I thought Xaiver would be different from my prejudice toward him. I didn't want to generalize or treat him as a stereotype, but I guessed he was just the same as the others of his kind. Wala siyang pinagkaiba sa pinsan niya.

I was honestly disappointed.

"Anyway, thanks for taking me home," sabi ko na lang at itinuloy na ang pagbukas ng pintuan. "Ingat ka."

Hindi ko na hinayaan pang pigilan niya ulit ako. I got out of his car and marched home as fast as I could. Patindi nang patindi ang iritasyon at pagkadismayang nararamdaman ko bawat paghakbang ko palayo sa kanya. Dumami rin ang mga iniisip ko habang patagal nang patagal.

Pabagsak kong isinara ang pintuan nang makapasok sa bahay. Sa gulat ay agad napalingon sa akin si Mama.

"Chantal?" Tumagilid ang kanyang ulo at may bahid ng pag-aalala ang boses.

"Sorry, Ma. Pahinga na po ako," paalam ko dahil ayaw kong may mga masabi akong hindi na dapat isatinig pa.

Dama ko ang pagsunod ng tingin sa akin ni Mama. She might be worried about me as well, but I had a lot of things to ponder. Dire-diretso ako sa kuwarto at nang mapag-isa na ay ibinagsak ko ang katawan sa kama.