Paths

NOTHING LEFT TO SAY

"I'm here, where you at ?" Nairobi spoke over the phone as she stood outside of Kaier's apartment.

"My bad Nai," Kaier spoke as he made his way to the car. "I was in a meeting with my dad, I should be there in like fifteen."

Nairobi rolled her eyes, she felt like all she ever heard from him nowadays was an apology. "Why didn't you tell me Kaier I would have stayed at home till you got back."

"I said my bad Nai, I didn't have my phone on me I lost track of time." He replied.

Nai smacked her lips heading back to the elevator,
"Okay bro." She said before hanging up.

Seconds later Kaier was calling her back as she rode down the elevator. " Stop hanging up on me. Real shit." He spoke into the phone as soon as the call connected.

Nairobi stared at the phone for a minute, before hanging up again. "Who tf he talking to." She mumbled to herself as she stepped off the elevator.

She watched the phone continue to ring as she got back into her car turning on the ac, she huffed as she leaned back in her seat. "Wasting my time I could be at home." She spoke as she muted her phone.

Fifteen minutes later Kaier zoomed into the parking lot with his music blasting, he parked next to her got out, and slammed his door clearly annoyed by the fact that Nairobi had been ignoring his calls.
"So you just gonna ignore my calls ?" He questioned as she opened her car door.

"You didn't want nothing Kaier." She said unmoved by his attitude as she walked past him and towards the apartment.

"It don't matter bro, I don't hang up on you. Don't be disrespectful Nai."

Nairobi chuckled as they stepped onto the elevator, "Let's not talk about disrespect Kaier."

"What are you talking about ?" He questioned. "I haven't done shit to disrespect you."

"When niggas come up to me threatening me over you, that's disrespectful to me. Especially considering I didn't even know you were in a fucking shootout." She spewed as she exited the elevator.

Kaier stood there for a moment trying to process what she had just said, "Fuck do you mean niggas threatening you Nairobi?" He stormed off the elevator behind her.

"Last night some nigga came up to me, looking for you. Showing us his gun and shit." She replied as he opened the door.

"What was his name Nairobi?" He said seriously as he pulled out his phone.

"He said Q."

"Aight gimme a minute." He told Nairobi, who rolled her eyes and went to sit on his couch.

Kaier walked into his room, shutting his door before calling Kane. "Wassup?" he answered.

"Yeah, we gotta take care of that nigga Q right now," Kaier spoke as he angrily paced the room.  
"He threatening Nai, I'm not going for that shit." He shook his head.

"Aight lemme hit up some of my niggas and see if they know where he at. Whatchu want them to do when they find him?" He questioned.

"I don't give a fuck what happens to the nigga, just make sure that shit don't happen again."

"Aight, I gotchu imma hit you up later," Kane reassured him before hanging up.

He came back sitting next to Nairobi who sat on the couch texting Shadae and Raelynn. "My bad that shit not gonna happen again I promise Nai."

"I don't think I can do this anymore." She said looking up.

Although she had been trying to gather her thoughts and practice what she wanted to say the whole day, now that she was here she felt like she couldn't find the proper words.

"You don't think?" Kaier questioned wanting her to say exactly what she meant.

Nairobi took a deep breath before correcting herself, "I can't do this anymore Kai." She spoke causing Kaier to let out a sigh. At that exact moment, he felt his heart drop. No matter how much he felt like he had prepared for those words to come out of her mouth. He still felt a sense of complete shock.

"I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to but I won't compromise on the boundary that I created for myself. I'm still trying to heal from losing my dad and I can't willingly put myself in a situation to feel like that again." She continued when he didn't respond.

Even as the words were coming out she wanted to take them all back. But she didn't want them to start hating eachother, because for her there was no middle ground. He was either selling drugs or he wasn't. And she knew that his new found obsession with fast money and his eagerness to always please his dad meant that it wasn't a compromise he was willing to make. She hoped that one day he could see that was so much more out there for him. But he'd told her couldn't change right now and she had to take his word, no matter how hard it was going to be.

As fucked up as it sounded on his part, a part of him never thought that she would actually commit to leaving him. However, Nairobi never thought that she would either. In fact, as the words left her mouth she was just as in shock as he was. She sat with her head down, twiddling her thumbs in her lap to distract herself from the tears that threatened to fall. Taking in the silence that filled the room.

Nairobi wanted nothing more than for Kaier to beg her to stay and say that he would do whatever it took to change her mind. She had silently hoped that all it would take was those words to leave her mouth, and he would be filling out every application he could get his hands on. And they could move on like none of it had ever happened, but that would be a fairy tale. She knew better than to believe in those.

Kaier sat there, knowing that there was only one thing that she really wanted to hear. But as much as he wanted to he just couldn't find it him to say the words. "Ain't shit I can say to change your mind?" He lowly asked.

She looked up making eye contact with him, angered that he was acting as if he didn't know what she needed from him.

She shook her head no, standing on her statement. "If you're not leaving this shit alone, then no."

He huffed again hanging his head, "I'm sorry Nai. You know this shit not as easy as just walking away."

Nairobi quickly wiped her tears before standing up from the couch. To her, it was that easy. The Kaier that she knew would move a mountain if she would ask him to. He had made it clear to her at that moment what he chose. Even as heartbroken as she was, she was deciding to choose her. She didn't think there was much use in having a long conversation, she realized that she had spent the last few months hoping to change his mind. And this moment made it more than crystal clear to her that there was nothing that she could say, this is who he wanted to be now and she had to respect it.

"I'm gonna go." She let out heading towards the door. Kaier quickly stood up grabbing her arm.

"You just going to leave Nairobi, it's been six years and you just gonna end this shit like that?" He questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

Nairobi snatched her arm from his hold scrunching up her face she turned around, "What am I supposed to say? You made your choice. Are we supposed to sit here and cry together or something?"

"A choice? Why are you making me choose between the two Nairobi?"

She shook her head. "I'm not making you choose Kai, Your grown you can do what you want. I'm choosing. And I won't choose that life for myself even if it's with you."

She turned back around continuing her walk towards the door, but this time he let her leave. He stood staring at the door for a few moments, feeling like his world was crashing down around him. Suddenly, he switched to a fit of rampage knocking over and throwing everything that was in his sight. After a few minutes, of tiring himself out. He sat in the middle of his living room floor as tears silently fell down his face for the first time in years.

He picked up his phone, going to their thread. He typed "I love you", hovering his finger over the send button. He knew that he had just broken her heart and it probably wouldn't mean anything to her at that moment. But he never wanted her to doubt that he loved her, even if he had just made what he felt like was the most fucked up decision of his life.

He pressed send, before throwing his phone at the wall and shattering it. He got up from the floor, deciding that he was going to go get drunk.