Funniest Things on Earth!

Anti Jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call them, it isn't coming.

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Yo mamma's so old, she's probably gonna die soon.

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What's green, has four legs, and would kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A horribly mutated animal.

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Knock, knock.

P1: Who's there?

P2: Dave.

P1: Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

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What is green, red, blue, purple, and orange? Colors.

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What did the pirate do before he buried his treasure? Dug a hole.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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I'm about to rewrite history. History.

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What's wet, slippery, and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa a minute passes.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen. You're under arrest.

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What has two legs and can't walk? Someone with broken legs.