Why⁈ - A Ruikasa fanfic ♪

Chapter 450. (Future time)

TW:  Attempted/Mention Self harm, Depression, Mentions of suicide, Hypnotism, Guilt tripping, and some related things.

"No..

No. No. No, No, No!"

They said, aggressively throwing their empty, blank piece of paper across the room.

"W-Why..?"

They wanted to cry, they truly did, But nothing came out of their eyelids, except pure emptiness and sorrow.

"Should I just end it here?

End my pain?

End my suffering?

I want to..

But.. I don't want to.."

They were confused, they wanted to end their pain, their suffering, everything they felt, they just wanted it all to come to a stop, for time to freeze, for happiness, for freedom, for.. happiness?

I.. Me.. th-they..?

I.. want to be happy?..

Really..?

Is it even.. me.. anymore..?

I'm alone.

My everything.. is gone.. But.. I still.. want... to be.. ha-happy?

Rea..lly?..

Thoughts, interrupted.. Every.. second..

This is.. way.. too.. much.. for me..

M-Me..?

I thought I had depression before..

I feel.. so.. so.. stupid.

Just.. purely... idiot..ic..

Wh-What do I.. they..? I.. do..?

She... no.. they.. w-were.. my..
Everything.

Wh-Why..?

Why must I.. s-suffer? So, s-so.. much..?

Ah.. My th-throat.. seriously.. hurts..

Wh-When was the last time I dr-drank som..somethin..something..?

They picked up the full bottle of water they had in their room, right next to them, and poured the entire thing on them, not even down their throat, on them, meaning half of their body got wet.

Ah.. Ow.. Drinking water hurts for some reason..

But it's also kinda refreshing.. Hah.. I brought this upon myself.. I sh-should.. be.. ha..ppy..

It-It's so.. cold.. what..

Without even realizing it, I.. they.. started pacing.

I eventually ended up at the mirror.

I lifted my head, somehow.. gathering up all the strength to even move, and looked at my face.

H-How do I still look.. perfect?..

No matter how much pain I'm in.. I always end up looking the same.. Heh..

It's kinda funny..

I love my face.