Why⁈ - A Ruikasa fanfic ♪

Chapter, 449? (Unknown time.)

Ena -.

"MiZukI?!

MIZUKIIIIII!!!!!!"

Where the heck is this woman..

Wait, isn't that her

Yes it is!

"Hey, MI—"

"Hey, Kana.. do you think I should tell her?"

"Er.. not yet, maybe.. confirm your feelings for her first?"

..What?

"Hey guys~ what're you talking about?"

"Ena! We were just talking abou—" "Nothing! We were talking about.. nothing."

"Kana, what? We were just talking about how I-" '"How she really liked the vanilla ice cream they had at the parlor!"

"Kanade! I didn't even order vanilla.

We were talking about how I think I like Tsuna. Romantically."

If I could drop down to my knees right then, I would.

But I couldn't.

My heart beat either increased or decreased by a million.

"But~~~~ I don't know if she's even gay! What do I do. Ena. Tell me. You're the best person for romance advice I know!"

"Ah, er.

I uh, think you should confess aswell."

"Ugh~!

Kana said that too!"

While Mizuki was ranting about not being able to confess, I felt Kana looking at me.

"Go, Ena."

"..Thanks."

I rushed out of the room before Mizuki even had a chance to see I was gone.

Should I have cried? I couldn't.

Should I have even felt happy for her? I wasn't.

Should I have expected this? ..Definitely.

I just want to fucking disappear.

Do anything except be here.

I don't even fucking want to cry for her.

I knew she liked her.

I should have known.

I didn't even realize I was digging my nails into my hands until I saw the red fluid flowing all across the white fabric, spreading like a venomous poison I wished would swallow me whole.

A mess of blood, tears.

My legs got up by themselves, hearing my leggings cracking from the sudden movement as I ended up in the mirror.

The one time I run out of waterproof mascara.

I stared at the pathetic, beautiful scenery in front of me as I tried to rip off my clothes as gently as I could without damaging the sewing.

Miserably failed.

After practically throwing the piece of clothing into my cupboard, I grabbed my phone from habit.

My wallpaper, it was her.

You're beautiful, Akiyama.

If only you thought the same about me.

I'll always love you.

Till my end.

I opened my gallery, filled with just pictures of her, and occasionally me.

This one was my favorite.. that time she told me she loved me.

She was like god to me.

My everything.

Well, what must I do if I've lost everything?

Heh.. I haven't even started on that drawing for the cover with Close to Gray, mm?

I better start trying..

I threw open my cupboard, feeling strangely refreshed after losing half my blood supply.

I grabbed a pencil, and started sketching on a piece of blank paper.

This reminds me of.. me.

I'm a blank paper, a blank canvas.

I was filled with color once.

I had purpose.

Now, I'm nothing.

I want to create my own image.

I pulled a chair to my mirror, and started sketching my own self.

Since when was I this pretty, looking all washed away and sad?

I almost opened my camera and took a picture, before deciding it'd be best if the others didn't see me in this state.

I started drawing on the little base I managed to make, adding the hair, the dress.

Before long, I managed to make a slightly impressive sketch of my own self.

I decided I'd start on someone else.

.. Mizuki.

..

Mafuyu.

I opened up a picture of Mafuyu on my phone, and got another piece of paper, wondering how I should draw her.

If I'm facing the front, maybe she should face the side..

Eh, this is a sketch anyway.

I started drawing a basic female pose, and erased bits to add her features.

I kept erasing and erasing, unable to get it right.

But this was just a minor inconvenience, I decided I would try it with a different colored pen.

Choosing purple since it seemed to make the most sense, I started with small strokes of her beautiful hair.

Not as beautiful as hers, though.

Since I had no idea what outfits to draw for me, nor Mafuyu, I just left it being as anatomically correct as I could possibly make a very horrible sketch.

I drew a smaller body for Kanade behind me and Mafuyu, and decided to just start coloring already.

I reached towards my paintbrush, and I hadn't washed my palette yet.

The last color it had was faded pink.

Mizuki's outfit's shade in her base song..

A single droplet fell on the messy drawing.

It's funny, how one single misfortune can change such a beautiful scenery.

A second droplet, falling on the color palette as it lay, refusing to mix with the dried paint.

The first drop had caused a pandemonium in the drawing, swirling the charcoal like a whirlpool sucking it into the great abyss.

I feel horrible.