mini bronze

15 ~ the senior team

"Ki i want you to adopt me. You're just as much of my mum as Lucy and i want you both to have the same legal rights for me." I blurted out and Keira pulled out of the hug and looked over at Lucy who looked shocked, but not surprised. I think she was shocked that i sad it when i did.

"I'd love to adopt you Scarlett, as long as Luce is okay with it." She told me, cupping my face.

I turned to look at Lucy. "Yes. I'd love that too." She smiled and then pulled me and Keira into a hug.

~~~

I couldn't sleep. I was in my room by myself. I was scared to sleep. I looked at the time and it read 4:58 am. I decided to get out of bed and get changed. I felt like going to my safe space, the Man City training grounds. I knew Isla wasn't going to be there this morning because it was the seniors who were training in the morning. I wasn't sure whether Ki and Luce had the intention of us going, but i wanted to go. I went downstairs and wrote a note and left it on the kitchen counter.

Mum, Ki, i couldn't sleep so when you read this i will be at the Man City training grounds. I'm getting the bus so by the time i get there it will be 6am and Gareth should be there, so i won't be by myself.

I love you both lots and i couldn't ask for better parents. Scar xxx

I left the house with my training kit and went to the closest bus stop and looked at the time table. There was a bus going towards the training grounds in 7 minutes.

Soon the bus arrived and i sat by myself with my kit on the seat next to me and my hood up. I looked out of the window and the city was so quiet as if it had no one living there. There were the occasional neon sign for a club or a restaurant and they seamed to make the city seem a bit more lively. I also saw a few men in suits, carrying briefcases and they looked like they were in a hurry as they were walking with long fast strides.

After many more stops, i'd finally arrived at the stop closest to the training grounds; i still had a 15 minute walk though. The time was currently 5:53am so i would get there around ten past 6.

As i was walking, the roads were pretty empty. I was able to think straight without the irritating sound of a car zooming by interfere. I was thinking about how horrible i had been to every single person, including Gareth and that when i get there i need to apologise to him. I felt bad and i felt like i truly deserved to die, i don't know why Gareth didn't kick me out of the club. He should have done.

A name i had thought of every single day since that match popped into my head. Annabelle. She didn't deserve any of the things i'd said to her. She deserved so much better and i will never be able to forgive myself for what i had said.

I will never be able to forgive myself for any of this. I told people i wished they were dead. I told Lucy that i didn't want to live with her anymore. I told Keira that i hated her. I told Leah that i hated her and never wanted to see her again. I ignored Poppy. She tried to call me at least once a day and i declined every single one of those calls.

I should die. I need to die. I don't deserve life. The world is too good for me. I'm not good enough for the world. I don't deserve to be Lucy Bronzes daughter. I don't deserve the last name Bronze. I don't deserve to have Keira or Leah or Jill or G or Lauren. I don't deserve anyone and i don't deserve to play football.

I arrived and went to pull the door and it opened. I walked in and made my way to Gareth's office and knocked on it. "Come in." I heard him say, but it was muffled a bit by the door.